A Note to My Younger Self #StreamTeam @Netflix_Ca

A Note to My Younger Self

Inspired by Netlfix’s new original series “The Crown”, we members of the #streamteam, were asked to compose letters to our younger selves. For the Queen, this undertaking would be of historical proportion. For me, it shall be neither historical nor proportionate. For me, this letter will be a mere list of things to avoid to ensure to the least amount of hardship and embarrassment.

There will be no tidbits of wisdom or quotable passages to lend advice to new generations. There will be no cautionary tales of missed opportunities or love lost. It will simple be a list of instances for my younger self to take care in avoiding because said instances were purely awful.

1. During your fourth grade track meet do not tell your coach that you’d like to see his fat ass make it over the high jump.
2. In seventh grade please do not pierce your own ears, or those of your friends.
3. DON’T GO TO PROM
4. Don’t let your mom’s hairdresser wax your eyebrows
5. Don’t try it once in college.
6. When you are travelling Europe to ‘find yourself’ after college, remember two main rules. ‘It won't be funny to try and Drive’ and ‘Don’t Ever mess with an Irishman’.
   
7. During your first real job, when a museum curator allows you the privilege of seeing a three thousand year old artifact up close and personal, an artifact that hasn’t seen the light of day or human touch in almost as long; do not lean over it in awe and release the tiniest amount of drool from your lower lip onto the artifact like a goddamn animal.
8. Don’t choose to write a thesis.
9. Don’t try to read anything by James Joyce.
10. Never, ever wear white pants.

Do you have any advice for your younger self? Share it below and let me know that I am not alone in having a number of avoidable regrets.

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