I have been meaning to tackle this topic for awhile now. I am sensitive to it because it is very much one of those, "you have no idea what it's like until you've been through it" kind of topics and I generally shy away from statements like that because they turn people off and they can be insulting to well-meaning individuals who try to 'help.' So, in my experience, here is how the whole food sensitivity/aversion thing can go down for families dealing with autism. If you are just getting your feet under you in terms of the whole autism thing, here is a quick refresher on what is it and what it can mean: Autism is a neuro-developmental disorder (not a mental illness) causing impairments in three main areas: Communication, behavior and social interaction. Many autistic individuals experience hypo or hyper-sensitive reactions to sensory stimuli. For more on the details of autism click here. We can all agree that eating is a sensory experience, so by definition, this will be an issue for many autistic individuals. Textures, smells, tastes, visuals and environments can all add up to an extremely unpleasant experience for all involved. Kate is no exception. She has many food sensitivities and they go far beyond the taste of the food. Here is what I need you to understand. As parents we want our children to eat well rounded meals. We want mealtime to be a pleasant experience. For Kate, we work very hard to make these two things happen. Here is a list of the foods that Kate will eat, and believe me this list has grown in recent months thanks to the efforts of her team: Gluten Free - Bread and Peanut butter (Alex and I take turns making bread every other day) Gluten Free- Waffles or pancakes Potato Chips French Fries Chicken Nuggets Are you noticing a pattern yet? Everything in this section is beige. Yes, that is extremely common for kids with ASD. They can reject foods solely based on colour. If you think that is ridiculous you can click here. If you are still with me, here is the next list of foods that Kate will eat: Bananas (usually 4 a day) Apples Watermelon Grapes Strawberries We also feed Kate pureed squash and sweet potatoes each day because we sneak in essential vitamins, probiotics, omega-3's and a form of folinic acid we call 5M. We are thankful that she has expanded her food preferences to include fruit. And finally: Pomodori's Chicken Pesto Pizza (we have tried to duplicate it but she knows!) *this is one area where we allow Kate to cheat on her GF/CF diet. Kate looks like she is having a religious experience when she eats this pizza. She adores it. We all do. Thank goodness for local businesses! Click here to learn more about them. Chocolate Because we have chosen a partly biomedical approach in Kate's treatment she is on a gluten-free/casein-free diet and this does further complicate her diet issues. Having said that, I want you to know, we feel that a nutritionally sound diet is paramount and we make changes if necessary. Many times, and this will ring true with so many of you autism parents out there, people try to 'help' get Kate to eat something. They put it in front of her or break it into small pieces and sneak it on her plate. They ask her to eat it before she can receive a preferred food. They ask her to take just one bite. She never obliges. She usually gets worked up and she often refuses to eat altogether. Now, her grandparents, who feed her regularly are fully aware of Kate's issues and feed her accordingly. They know to introduce a new food by placing it near her but not asking her to eat it. They know the next step is asking her to touch it. Many weeks later she may allow this food to sit on her plate. Someday she might take a bite. The process is long and tedious and it is called a 'food expansion' program. Any OT could tell you all about it. In the photos below you can see a progression of events that I set up to show you how easily Kate can be disturbed at meal time. We placed three of her favorite foods on a plate. Bananas top that list of favorite foods and she struggled to even look at her plate. She repeatedly asked to get down from her stool and was very upset. I removed two of the foods and Kate was able to focus in and enjoy her meal. She later ate both the banana and the strawberries but at different times. If you think a little 'discipline' would straighten her out then feel free to click here. If you understand that sensory issues can be painful and cause a great deal of anxiety for these children you can keep reading. Below is the meal her five year old sister ate that evening: Chicken, potatoes and asparagus. Kate would find this plate offensive to smell, touch, taste or even look at. I promise, the parents of children with autism, understand there are 'picky-eaters' out there. This goes well beyond that. Some of you are nodding your heads. If you are shaking your head then please feel free to click here. OK, that last one hopefully got rid of the last of the skeptics/haters (whatever you want to call them.) Below is a photo of Kate at a restaurant. I wrote about that experience here. It went well but as you'll read we take the win for very different reasons than other parents might. More recently, we took Kate out for her sister Grace's birthday supper and we were thrilled when we got her to handle a piece of broccoli. We didn't mind that she kept repeating 'ewwww' as she squished it between her fingers. We were pleased that she didn't protest that is was anywhere near her. We certainly would not expect her to eat it at this stage. And, for your information, she would just as reluctant to try yogurt or spaghetti or skittles for that matter! If you think these issues of rigidity and extreme preference are related to food issues only then you would be wrong. We also struggle to make changes in other areas of daily life. The amazing people at her daycare and her therapists are helping her with these issues of rigidity and they are making great progress. I don't want to leave you thinking that we constantly battle with Kate to get through a day because that is the furthest from the truth. We maneuver a little, we finesse a lot and we make it work. All parents do this to some extent. We might just have to do it with activities that many of you might think are mundane like the seasonal change in clothes that is about to happen. How do I convince her to switch her winter coat for a raincoat and her winter boots for rubber boots? Thankfully, Kate has a team working on those tasks.
There are so many situations and issues related to sensory sensitivities that I could not possibly cover them in one post. I just wanted to make some of you more aware of the issues facing our kids. So, teachers, please don't judge mom and dad when a child brings the same lunch every single day and the entire lunch is beige. We are just asking for a little more understanding until we can figure all these things out.
26 Comments
Uncle Brendan
4/16/2013 05:17:18 am
Bravo! This article has really helped me to understand the do's and dont's of daily activities in supporting children with autism and why consistency is so important. I had no idea, for example, that multiple foods on a plate or food colours could be an emotional trigger. You are an excellent teacher Shanell! Keep up the good work.
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Shanell
4/17/2013 10:05:21 am
I knew you'd get it, Bren.
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Grama
4/16/2013 10:01:08 am
Kate will be "3" next month and as much as I want her to eat all things healthy, I am excited that she even held that brocolli, that is progress :)
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Shanell
4/17/2013 10:06:02 am
She added Rice Milk Ice Cream with Grama to her food list tonight. Not bad.
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Sara
4/16/2013 10:08:54 am
You know that old saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes? It applies for all parents, we all have challenges and are just trying to get it a little bit right. I commend you and Alex (and Grace and Kate too) for not only your strength in building an autism army, but in sharing your challenges (and wins!) with everyone. You help us all be better people.
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Shanell
4/17/2013 10:04:54 am
Hahaha Sara. Did you see my nice pictures? I figured that was nicer than what I wanted to say. I think I am growing as a person.
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Kelly
4/22/2013 12:35:55 pm
Funny I didn't notice the pattern until you pointed it out. Add popcorn nacho chips and white rice (with ketchup) to that list and you have my daughter. Only veggie she will eat is cooked carrots, and apples once in awhile. I didn't put the 2+2 together. Thanks for sharing.
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Elizabeth Brewer
9/21/2013 04:54:00 am
This post was an incredible learning tool. Thank you! Never even considered this in relation
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I COMPLETELY get where you are coming from. We also deal with "only beige" foods -- except pepperoni (which for some reason is OK). We have our first feeding therapy appointment today at the feeding clinic -- hopefully, like you, we can add some fruits and veggies to our beige. Good luck!
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IBETH
1/14/2014 02:16:04 am
OH THIS IS AWSOME I HAVE BEEN READING YOUR BLOG FOR OVER AN HOUR, KNOW I GET IT, YOU ROCK DARLING....!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH.... XOXOXOX
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mom of same
1/17/2014 09:44:14 pm
my son only ate beige, oatmeal, brown bread, peanut butter and chicken nuggets until he was 17 then a friend told him that cheese will help him remember his dreams. so now he eats pizza. first cheese pizza then pepperoni. pasta has always been a NO. the texture makes him throw up. the parenting advice I got on how to make him eat was cruel! he took a daily vitamin willingly and ate what he could tolerate. still does. he is a strong, healthy young man now at 21, 6 feet tall and still eats beige. and only wears green.
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Danielle
1/23/2014 01:17:31 am
You're doing an amazing job! I have a nephew with autism and sometimes I wonder how his mother does it. All kids have quirks, It has taken me 2 years to get my son to eat pasta with sauce on it! I likes the sauce, he likes the noodles, but to have them touch was unthinkable. This is a child without any ASD, but, (much like me) he has texture issues. Slimy noodles with red sauce NO! (until recently anyway) Sticky noodles with parmesan, and sauce on the side to be eaten with a spoon A OK. Ham sandwich? NO, slices of ham on a plate with bread not touching it? perfectly edible.
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Line
1/25/2014 02:05:47 am
I found your blog through a ton of facebook postings of your wonderfully written letter to the dad sitting next to you on the plane. I have been snooping around for a while now, and cannot begin to process all of this. What a horrible diagnosis, and what a wonderful job the whole team Kate seems to be doing. It's great that you even find the time to write this - helping the rest of us to understand just a little bit about autism and how we may be able to help should we meet someone who needs us.
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Sky
7/8/2017 07:47:09 am
It's not a horrible diagnosis. We just see the world differently and react differently. It's a horrible world trying to navigate as an autistic person. But not a horrible diagnosis. Autistic people could live fine and healthy lives if accommodated properly.
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Tobias
1/27/2014 05:50:45 am
Wow, it's really good to read that other parents have the same issues with their children. Our son is eight and got Aspergers - when he smells an orange, he's getting ill at the moment... And new shoes are difficult every time. But it's getting better.
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Anna
9/2/2014 12:35:42 am
As an autistic person with many food aversions, I cannot stand garlic or onions, baked or dried fruits, chunky tomato sauce, and several other things. Buttered toast is fine as long as the butter is applied before the toasting process. Salmon is too fishy for my sensitive nose. However, I am happy to try a fruit as long as it is not durian.
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Jackie
11/21/2014 01:58:26 am
Anna, durian is horrible for anyone! I can't stand the smell of it. :)
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Missy
12/31/2014 02:36:18 am
Please tell Kate that my dear husband (who is a so called 'NT' AND a grownup!) agrees wholeheartedly with her asessment of broccoli. He sill looks at me funny when I eat it.
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Christine Danroth
4/29/2015 07:13:14 am
Best blog I have ever looked at! My son has ASD and extreme food aversions. Thank you thank you.
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Savannah
5/27/2015 08:09:34 am
Thank you. I am in tears because I came to realize on my own that my son has SPD and it is so comforting to know I'm not alone and despite criticism from family & friends, I'm not "letting him run the show". He is a beige eater. Macaroni, cheese, white bread & occasionally apples. Oh and of course chicken nuggets. Its so hard to feed him but thank you for reminding me I'm not " giving in".
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Ashton
7/5/2015 04:26:17 am
Thank you for this post. I have 2 boys on the spectrum, I myself am also on the spectrum (Aspy Mom). My youngest is 10, and he is extremely picky, and his food list is very much like Kate's. We gave up this struggle a few months ago, and keep him on vitamins. He does nto have a team that helps us, we deal with it all by ourselves, as we don't have insurance to handle the therapy. He was in therapy for a while, but we lost jobs which meant no insurance, and the state would only cover so much before they booted him out. We've started adding things as toppings to his pizzas to help get other things in his diet. Kinda funny when your child is eating and you hope that nothing falls off the top of his pizza or else it won't get eaten lol argh!
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Sarah
1/23/2016 11:05:52 am
I loved this! I have a 5 year old that was diagnosed a little over a year ago with ASD. meal times are really frustrating, but reading your article made me chuckle, because my son is the same
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Linda Mugford
7/27/2016 10:54:12 pm
Oh wow, there are others out there! So much the same as my 6 year old son it is unbelievable. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Reader
3/15/2017 07:06:21 pm
Not hating, but have you given any thought about how you would deal with this if you didn't live in a first world country where there is an abundance of food selection an bud clothing? What an bure you going to do when she outgrows the boots? Your child will have to learn to survive without the comforts of familiarity all the time, otherwise it will cause serious barriers for her in adulthood. Maybe the ways to help her adjust is to not always have the comforts available as an option. Maybe the problem here is the assumption that it will cause long term distress if anything makes her uncomfortable. And here's the thing about food: if someone is hungry enough they'll eat. She will not willingly starve unless she has an eating disorder which of course is an entirely different issue. At some point she'll realize that she only has what you make available to her and she doesn't have a choice.
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