In the five short years that Kate has been alive I have found myself in countless meetings where my agenda has been to prove to the people around the table that Kate is disabled. I've been tasked with repeating over and over again how very delayed, and dysfunctional she is. I must do this to prove that she deserves access to services that can help her as she grows. 

I'm tired of explaining over and over why my daughter is 'not right' because I think she is beyond perfection.

It is taking its toll. So, please let me say here, what I would really love to say in those meetings but do not for fear she might lose access to a much needed therapy.

Kate plays inappropriately.

In what sense? So are you telling me that because she is entertained by things that 'normal' kids don't find interesting she is supposed to be dysfunctional? You know what I think is dysfunctional; that fact that every little girl this side of Montreal likes the exact same things and those things that they 'love so much' are delivered directly to them via mass consumerism and we all think it's 'Normal.' Guess who doesn't give a shit about all that? That's right; Ninja Kate.

Kate's communication is delayed.

She communicates just fine. You assholes are just not listening. Not everything is said in words. Isn't that communication 101? She does use a lot of words lately and she tries very hard to get them organized into the order you are expecting but when she can't do that, she reverts to other forms of communication. If you can't figure that out, then maybe you have a little delay yourself.

Kate perseverates.

You know who else perseverates? Pro athletes, artists, authors, scientists and anyone who wishes to become great in their field. Yes, right now she is five and she perseverates on Ninjas and Pirates but soon she may choose to turn her hyper-focus onto something else like, Social Policy or Politics or Medicine. (or maybe still Ninjas)

Kate hits.

It's a a very valid form of communication. How many times did she try and tell you something before she resorted to hitting? Again, is it maybe you with the communication issue?

Kate screams.

Again, perfectly reasonable communication when all else fails. Kids like Kate need their point to made quickly and efficiently when words don't work. This is a strategy, that although we don't love, we respect. 

Kate wears her hair short and plays rough.

What's your fucking point? She's beautiful and she likes her hair that way. She is not 'playing rough' she is sensory-seeking and she doesn't realize her own strength. Besides, she's forty pounds. Suck it up, buttercup.

Kate can't sit still.

Mostly, that is because her brain is asking her to move. Try not to scratch an itch and you'll get a small taste of how Kate feels when she is asked not move. There is nothing wrong with moving while you learn. In fact, some people believe that moving is the best way to learn. I bet you're tapping a leg right now.

Kate does weird things.

According to who? The same people that let big business and big box stores tell them what to like and how to be? There's a reliable source.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

The best part of that title is that you think I am kidding but I am dead serious. My children are ages 5 and 7 and have little to no interest in television, and they couldn't care less about video games, either. They would rather interrupt me until I cry or wait for a three second silence so they can scream, "Mama" a few times for good measure. Don't get me wrong. We do all of the prerequisites to ensure I qualify for decent mom status. We spend lots of time outside. We attempt the occasional Pinterest activity, we read and play games daily and we eat supper as a family. Doesn't all of that afford me a little time to myself during the day? Just thirty minutes to vacuum or make supper would be a dream. Did I really just type that? 

Netflix is streaming some great throwback cartoons now so I will make an effort this weekend to introduce my kids to the cartoons I adored as a child. Scooby-Doo, Spider-Man and Garfield are a good start. Here's hoping they fall in love like I did. 

How do you find time during the day? Do your kids play quietly, on occasion, so you can get stuff done or do they climb you like jungle gym while calling 'Mama' over and over with no question in  mind?

Am I alone here?

Our Friends at OAR made the greatest video!