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I talk about Autism, a lot

Verbal Isn't Always Verbal

7/13/2013

9 Comments

 
Picture
Kate is picking up vocabulary with amazing speed.  She can now repeat just about anything you say to her.  We are pleased with the acquisition of more words but we are still working very hard on getting her to use those words and terms appropriately.  We are extremely lucky that she is communicating with us.  Now, when I say this next part please understand that I do not wish to take anything away from those people that have great struggles with communicating with their non-verbal children.  I only wish to point out that the acquisition of words does not mean the acquisition of conversation.  

I have worked with extremely verbal children on the high functioning end of the spectrum that are very unreliable in terms of conversation.  These children may have the tools needed for conversation but they lack the social understanding of how a conversation works.  

Kate, for example, is getting really great at requesting things.  She even greets people appropriately (if a hug attack can be considered appropriate).  She does, however, struggle to answer questions.  She'll fool you though.  A conversation with Kate will often go something like this:

Stranger:  (After receiving a hug and a hello from Kate which happens more often than not) Hello there, what's your name?

Kate:  "Wuz your name, yeah."


Stranger: "How old are you?"


Kate:  "How old ah ew, yeah."


Stranger:  "You're awfully cute, aren't you?"


Kate:  "Awe cute, yeah."


You get the picture.  If you ask Kate if she wants to go the pool, she will respond with, "Pool, yeah."  If you ask Kate if she wants a needle, she will respond with, "Needle, yeah."  


She has figured out how to answer appropriately for things that highly motivate her like avoiding bedtime or eating her "Wunch" (lunch).  So we are still working on this whole back and forth thing.  She'll get it, I am sure.  


I just wanted friends and neighbours and teachers and family members to understand that although an autistic child is verbal they don't always possess the skills needed to communicate effectively and functionally.  This can lead to extreme frustration for the child and others.  So, hold off on the, "well at least she can talk" comments.  Talking is only a tiny part of communication.  Got it?

9 Comments
Susan Clarke(kleyn-Molekamp)
7/12/2013 11:08:30 pm

Thank you for this very clear explanation. You are educating me. I got it !!

Reply
Shanell
7/16/2013 04:22:41 am

:)

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Sophiestrains link
7/13/2013 03:56:10 am

I got it. But in the spirit of pining for what we don't have (no matter how much I try not to) I so wish to hear Sophie say something, anything. It is not even the communication struggle (although it is, too) but just longing to hear her voice... It's so sad to have a mute 3 year old sometimes.
Kate is a cutie and I'm sure she will get it though. Everything takes longer but it does come.

Reply
Shanell
7/13/2013 05:15:30 am

You are right on, Sophie's Trains. I can imagine few things as gutting as waiting to hear your child say your name and wondering if/when it will come out. I hope everyone understands I don't wish to compare. Parents of ASD children never give me the "at least she is verbal" line. It is usually a well-meaning stranger of NT kids. I hope little Miss Sophie and the rest of you are well.

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Grama
7/13/2013 05:21:12 am

Grumpy is building a Pergola on the back deck and when Kate saw it she said "Grumpy building me a house" ? I just want you to know that Grumpy will build Kate anything she wants :)

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Karen link
7/13/2013 02:04:55 pm

I get the "well, at least he talks" line very often from other parents of kids with ASD. But even when a person has a large vocabulary with perfect pronunciation, "conversation" is full of surprises. For example, tonight I said to my son, "How are you, sweetie?" He looked right at me and answered, "Yeah, let's talk about farting in a loud voice." (I had told him at the grocery store last year that it was inappropriate to talk about farting in public, especially in a loud voice.) Just another day on Planet Autism.

Reply
Shanell
7/16/2013 04:22:17 am

It's never boring. LOL. As a teacher, I am privy to a lot of talk about farting. ;)

Reply
Tracy
7/13/2013 10:43:26 pm

I hear you on this. M has developed an amazing vocabulary but could not carry on a conversation if her life depended on it. I find that she is only reliable in her answers to social questions that have been worked on. If I go outside of the box and ask her something other than her name or her phone number she tends to just repeat what I said or walk away. She is verbal but she cannot carry on a conversation to save her soul. Maybe one day..maybe not, but I am totally on your side with unreliable communication!

Reply
Shanell
7/16/2013 04:25:24 am

It drives me nuts when I fill out a form and it says verbal or non-verbal. I need to write an essay on the form to describe what it means to be verbal and autistic for Kate.

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