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I talk about Autism, a lot

Thoughts on Writing About Autism and Other Stuff

10/12/2015

3 Comments

 
Picturewww.pinterest.com
It occurs to me that everything I write could some day come back to haunt me, haunt us, haunt her. I've tried, mostly, to be wary of that fact. I suppose what I am doing is writing an unauthorized biography and the subject ultimately cannot approve or verify my words. 

Sure, if you ask her, she'll tell she loves to be on the 'puter', but does she/will she love how I've shared the intimate details of all of our lives? I can't know that now. I made the decision, a long time ago, to continue sharing despite this fear because when Kate was born and I brought her home and I could see in her beautiful blue eyes that she was different than the rest of us, I didn't know what to do.  And, almost two years later, when we finally learned our girl had autism, I needed to hear from parents, and siblings and autistics themselves, because as wonderful as the professionals are, they can't quite prepare you for this world. 

My thoughts on the disorder, the diagnosis and the treatments have changed over these last few years. I won't remove the posts in which I was furious. They are, for the most part, as authentic as I could be for you then. I'm still angry at times. Less so, but angry still. I still resent our narrow and short-sighted views on treatment. I also despise the in-fighting within the community itself. But, lately I find these things bother me less. 

It's hard to hit publish on anything I write. Sharing your writing is like sharing a terrible selfie on social media. At least, I think so. I can't imagine anyone ever feels confident when they publish something they've written. It feels kind of shitty and necessary at the same time: like the dentist. If you follow me on social media you'll know I do a little bit of writing for money. You should know, anyway, I self-promote enough. Anyway, that kind of writing isn't easy, but it's mostly fun and it doesn't hurt: like teaching Kindergarten or herding cats. 

So, if you're still with us through all of our declarations and confessions, and the occasional listicle, thank you. It means a lot.

(The above photo is not my workspace. I just sincerely wish it was. My workspace is my lap, with two small children making unreasonable requests as I type) 

3 Comments
Lana
10/12/2015 01:36:02 pm

Writing is therapy!! I think it is good for everyone to know & understand parents struggles with autism. The ignorant need to be educated. Then maybe the next time they see a child having a meltdown in public they won't judge or at least judge with understanding & maybe a smidgen of empathy. Please keep writing & sharing your thoughts. I enjoy them so much & I am sure all other readers would agree.

Reply
Emily
10/14/2015 08:17:33 pm

Hey there,
Your blog is, in my humblest opinion, important and ballsy. Fuelling a conversation that's as complex as autism is must take a lot. With every read, I come away with admiration for you, an utterly badass mom

Reply
Shanell
10/17/2015 05:41:20 pm

apparently Grace was not a available til after Christmas so people are emailing me regularly to accuse me of lying about this story. Grace dolls arrived in late Jan and not Christmas and my writing had infuriated many AG doll fans. I'm sorry that I remember the dolls arriving during Christmas when it could not have been. *sigh*

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