She's Going to Kindergarten and I Can't Cope.

7/25/2015

It takes too much mental effort to think of a witty title when I sit here sick at the thought of her moving on. I know I should be celebrating. I know I should be marking such an occasion with pictures and excitement and all around glee but I am fucking terrified. You're not all ready for her. I know that every time I flip open my laptop and read horrible stories of exclusion and hate for kids like Kate.

In my opinion, (I say that so the assholes keep their angry comments to themselves), when you raise a child with special needs of different abilities (or whatever language you wish I'd use) each year of growth gets a little more terrifying.

Her delays are more evident. Her outburst are more frequent. Her differences unmistakable.

If it's not your reality, it will be. How does that strike you? You go ahead and scroll past all that shit you don't want to read because autism has nothing to do with you. Look at the stats below and tell me if it won't be your reality soon enough.

No more excuses. You're going to need to learn about autism and you're going to need to learn how to fully include and respect all individuals on the spectrum. Period.

8 Comments

Meghan

7/25/2015 11:21:48 am

I love your writing. I think that you write with your true emotions and you do so with honesty and grace. Please keep this up because it is an enlightening read. I am in college to be a social worker and my sorority does a lot of work for children with autism and I love being able to share your blog because not all sides of the story are pretty and I think that when everyone talks about awareness we need to know the not so pretty things. Best of luck to you and your family and please keep writing!

catherine

7/25/2015 11:34:01 am

I love reading your stuff. I have 3 sons ages 2.5y, 4y and 5y. my oldest two have Autism. I am also terrified, my oldest starts school in September..

Annie Graulus

7/25/2015 04:39:59 pm

We had the same fear for our grandson but at last we found a school where he was happy and able to grow. He is eight now and doing just fine.He is very intelligent. I know you're a mother and it is normal you care in such a way. We in Belgium have a saying : wenn the child is little, you have to give it roots. Wenn the schild is bigger, you have to give it wings. And that is the most difficult thing to do. So, have a little fate. She will do just fine for she already is a great kid and has a stable home and parents to count on.

Alyssa link

7/26/2015 05:19:35 am

I don't know how much this will ease your thoughts, but I'm Kate.
With 15+ years tacked on. I don't have the same diagnosis, but there's enough outward similarities that my parents dealt with some pretty crazy stuff. There were many nights they sat and wondered "How the hell are we going to make this work?"
And I survived. Actually... if I may be so bold, I'm thriving.
It got bad. It got scary fucking bad. And I'm still dealing with the aftermath of that. But I'm still here, I'm still breathing, and I'm happy.
Kate has a kicks team behind her, and as much spitfire you can cram into a body that small. So I'll place some good odds for her race.

Kelly link

7/27/2015 01:44:17 am

I feel your crankiness. I raise a glass of wine to it with you. These worries consume me at times. My daughter is in preschool but I still worry. I hear back "you have time," "she may be fine by the time she starts school," "She's starting to talk." Yeah, not helpful. My most recent blog I wrote about a run in with someone who used the term "those kids." This made me extremely cranky. Thank you for sharing💙 You are an inspiration it may be the hardest thing you have to face but you are strong and always persevere for that awesome ninja of yours!

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7/30/2015 03:33:54 pm

As a parent, it's one of the hardest things. Seeing your child taking the next step of his life. Don't be afraid, your child will learn, and has to do this for his future!

Lizzy

8/10/2015 01:34:44 am

I feel your pain. I know your pain ... even 8 years later. My son cried most of the time going to pre-school and then at school. Just couldn't cope with leaving me / noises / change / high sensory environment .... who knows what was the cause - I just know it's been really hard. It's still really hard. You are not alone. Take things slow

Eve

8/25/2015 07:40:14 pm

I love this blog. My little girl is almost 3, she has autism, too. She loves ice cream, obstacle courses her dad sets up in the living room, playing drums, and singing.

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She's Going to Kindergarten and I Can't Cope.

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