You know how when something is bothering you it seems to pop up everywhere? For example, if you were worried you were pregnant with unplanned # 3 you might see pregnant people at every turn. (This is not my worry). My thoughts now are on potty-training. I know Kate isn't ready. We have a team of therapists helping us with some of things that top our list of concerns right now.
I hope you understand that we do not put pressure on Kate to complete any of these tasks. We just have priorities that we hope are in her best interest.
These are things we hope will make life easier for Kate.
If I was to write out our list of wishes it might look something like this:
1. Social skills and help making and playing with friends.
2. Communication and help relaying how she feels, if she needs help or if something is wrong.
4. Getting her to wear a ponytail in her hair (don't judge, it is important to me and it would help her stop chewing her hair)
Things that are on the 'don't waste her precious time' list are:
1. Any kind of rote learning of numbers or letters etc.
2. Any kind of discouragement of stimming, like flapping, jumping or spinning.
3. Any attempt at 'extinguishing' a behaviour that may have a valid reason for occurring.
4. Any attempt at changing the core of what she is, autism or not.
So, you can see that potty-training does not even top our list. We don't have unrealistic expectations for Kate in terms of potty-training. We, of course, want this for her but we are not willing to push her one minute before her team thinks she is ready.
Lately, though, it just seems that every Facebook status I read is a celebration of potty-trained 18 month old. When I take Kate into the washroom at a restaurant or the mall I see tiny little children using the stalls as I hoist our girl up to the changing station. She is tall and her feet hang off of the table at her knees. She doesn't mind one bit, though. Just so you know. She doesn't notice those other children or care what they are up to in the stalls. That is my malfunction. Kate smiles and jibber jabbers at them and could not be happier to be out and about with her family.
At three years old, Kate may be late to not be started potty-training yet but she wouldn't be considered abnormal (yet). I know some children/adults will never be potty-trained and I know our problems are minor in comparison. She does get the odd stare for barely fitting on the change station but for the most part it is still a socially acceptable age to be wearing a diaper. My fears exist in the future and they may be unfounded.
I am happy for you and your potty-trained 6 month old. But, do you really have to fill up my feed with that crap?
Happy Mail to:
27 Wellington Row
Saint John, NB
Grace and Kate's mom. (Shanell)