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I talk about Autism, a lot

On Getting an Autism Service Dog

10/29/2014

10 Comments

 
Picture
"Where's Kate?"

"Right there...shit, where is she?"

"I thought you had her!"

"She can't have gone far."

"Kate! Kate! Kate!"

"Did the alarm go off?"

"No. I don't think so. It didn't right? She has to be inside the house"

"Grace, where is your sister?!"

"Katie!"

"I hear her. Check the closet."

"She's here. She's in the closet with her turtles."

"Jesus Christ."

A common conversation for us. Kate often doesn't respond to her name. Sound familiar? I am sure it does. We lose her inside our house and we panic. Our stomachs drop. We quickly calculate home many minutes she has been gone and how far she could have gone. It is our biggest fear. One day, it is likely that we could lose sight of her when we are outside of the outside of the house. This can't happen.

Why would she leave? She seems so social and happy to be around people?

She would leave because she does not fear leaving. She would leave because she saw something of interest outside the window. She would leave because she is looking for her cat or her ball. She would leave because she is completely fearless. She would leave because she is confused or angry. There are so many reasons why Kate would leave.

She would not be able to tell someone who she is or where she lives. She would go with them in a heartbeat, feeling she's made a friend (which scares us even more) and she could not reliably express helpful information to get her back to us.

She would not be afraid. She would not feel alone. She would not stop if she chose to go. It absolutely terrifies me. I've tested her. I watched her walk away at the mall. I slowly crept behind her to see how far she'd go. She didn't ever look back. Why didn't she look back?

We've often tried the: "Okay, fine Katie, we are leaving and you can stay here in the grocery store." Typical kids run to catch up, terrified at the prospect of spending the night at the store. Kate doesn't even look up to acknowledge our threat. Staying suits her just fine.

How will a service dog help?

A
service dog will keep her safe. A service dog will plant and hold her if she tries to slip away while I reach for something high on a grocery store shelf. He will be my eyes when I need to address Grace's needs or pay for a purchase or even blink a little too long. She's quick you know. It doesn't take long.

A service dog will provide pressure and comfort that will keep her calm and create less chance of her trying to escape  somewhere we need to be. The doctor's office, the hospital,  or even just a family function will be easier for all of us. We are the master's of leaving early and I know some of you are too.

A service dog will allow her dad and I to visit friends without always checking and double-checking that Kate is staying put. We will be able to fully engage in conversations. We won't always be checking exits and making excuses for why we keep running to check on her.

A service dog will not allow her to run to the road when her ball rolls there. She's fast you know. I grip her hand tightly when we go out in public but in our driveway she has more freedom. She can be happily playing in the sand one minute and racing for the road the next.

A service dog will help us do all those things we do to keep Kate safe, anyway.

I don't know when or if Kate will develop a healthy fear of the unknown. I don't know if she will learn to regulate her emotions without help. For now, she needs a little help and we feel a service dog can help us provide that for her.


10 Comments
Jacqueline Patron
10/29/2014 02:47:11 am

We have the same fears as you guys. Though ours are a little less now that we have her talking. And sometimes but not always responds to her name. Our daughter is now considered high functioning with a possible high IQ... But the fearlessness, I don't think will ever change. This scares me the most! I too, tested our daughter at the mall, at the park, at the cabin and on our street. She never looked back. One thing caught her eye to the next. And no fear of a strange person.... Our daughter is a bit of a "goof" she will do something and if it gets the right response from others she will keep doing it. It will only take one "bad apple" to change an innocent 'do and laugh' moment to a "here eat this worm". Which already occurred this past summer with an older boy at a backyard party.... I am hoping our daughter Elyse will qualify for a therapy dog.

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Sandy
10/29/2014 06:37:31 am

My son, Noah, wandered away one day when we were on vacation. He went out the door to play on the trampoline while I was dealing with his brother. I went after him 30 seconds later and he was gone. Just gone. Hubby and I looked and yelled and screamed. When I called 911, I was almost in hysterics. The lady on the phone told me that an officer had him. I met the officer and was so relieved to get my boy back. He couldn't tell the officer his name or our name or anything. That was the scariest day of my life by far. He now wears a medic alert bracelet with his information. We just licensed his dog as a service dog because she is attached to him at the hip. She grounds him which he desperately needs.

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Yvonne Wetzel
10/29/2014 05:29:58 pm

I have dealt with the same issues that you are going through right now. My son is 14 now. He is a twin; so that whole "Autism is caused by...." thing was blown completely out of the water when he was diagnosed. His twin doesn't have Autism. They had the same shots, same diet, same everything since birth.
He had a dog as a little guy to keep him from bolting. He wore a harness round his waist, attached to the harness of the dog. My son had a habit of running out the door when he saw even a crack of light coming from it. We lived near the corner of the street, and cars could not see around the corner well. Our dog would sit down and pull him the opposite direction. He was my lifesaver. It is like having another set of hands and eyes. I am not saying that you can let your guard down, but it is a reassurance that someone or something has a hold of your child for that millisecond that you are doing whatever. I feel that all parents should have access to service animals for their children for their safety....and our peace of mind.

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Elizabeth link
10/30/2014 07:04:31 am

Oh, how I remember the not hearing his name, the not caring if he was left behind, the holding him by the wrist all the time because at any moment he would drop my hand and take off in the other direction. Congratulations on your decision to get a service dog and keep us posted on how it goes.

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Dawn Marcotte link
10/31/2014 04:08:45 am

I have heard a lot lately about service dogs for autism - I did not realize you could get your own dog certified - thanks for sharing that bit of information.

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Naomi
11/1/2014 01:31:26 pm

I can definitely relate to your fears and the anxiety that goes along with them.

We do not (yet) have a service dog for our 12 year old, low functioning, non verbal son.

But he is an escape artist. We call him the "mini" Houdini. :)

He has escaped out of his bedroom window when all was dark and quiet. We, his parents, assumed he was asleep. Little did we know that he could or would: maneuver the lock, raise the window, push out the screen and walk down the road & across the street, while undressed. What attracted him? The children several houses down who were playing in sprinklers in the dark. The lady who lived there knocked door to door asking each person if this was their child. When she knocked on mine and inquired, my first response was "no"... I had mentally calculated where my 3 sons were: ball park, computer game, bed. Then I looked at the undressed, wet boy standing beside her. It was MY son!!

He climbed over our back fence within seconds of my husband walking inside to grab a drink of water during the baking summer heat. What inclined him to climb over for the first time? Their swimming pool (and no, he doesn't know how to swim). He went into the water, fully dressed (with shoes) and then walked into their house. Soaking wet.

So while the thought of having a pet in the midst of this chaos makes me panicking inside. The thought of having a trained pet that could help alert us to him being in danger is beginning to sound more like a necessity.

Reply
Debbie
11/15/2014 09:42:55 pm

Hi, I am interested in one of the above comments, about getting your "own" dog certified as a service dog? Is for proper training and going places where a dog is not allowed normally?

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Kim
1/21/2015 11:39:01 am

Oh my gosh... Mind blown!! Our 2.5 year old daughter was diagnosed a month ago so we are new to the game so to speak! The thought of having a solution to our serious elopement problem is bringing me to tears (of joy). Since being "kicked" out of her mother's day out program in October we have pretty much been house bound because taking her anywhere even our own backyard is very challenging. We literally can't leave her unattended for a second! She is an EXPERT problem solver with Mission Impossible climbing skills. So the thought of being able to go to the bathroom by myself for two minutes or being able to put our other daughter down for a nap without considering the logistics of the situation sounds completely and utterly liberating!! Thank you for helping blaze the trail for other mothers like me and for your blog filled with humor and real and logical advice! Finally I've found a blog I can relate to, YES!! I can't wait to hear more about your new fur family member!

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****
11/8/2016 06:46:06 pm

You do not want to get your "own" dog certified. Programs that offer this are fraud and your are able to get a vest and certification without proper training. Many of these fake service dogs create problems with real service dogs at work. For example the fake service dogs may show aggression or not be totally focused on their task which can cause distraction or harm to the real service dogs at work. Not only does this cause problems to the dogs but also the handler or person who depends on their service dog to be focused on them and provide the service they were meant/trained to do. It is possible that you can get your own dog certified but few pet owners would have the level of skill required to produce a true working dog. Unless you absolutely need a service dog it is recommended to get a fully/professionally trained service dog from a reputable trainer/breeder. Otherwise you may end up causing more harm than good.

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Tracy
12/13/2016 09:25:13 am

Hi
We have a black Labrador he's almost 3 years old. He's had some training but not autism specific, unfortunately the place where he should have received his training stopped doing it. He has an amazing bond with my son who insists on walking him every night, until he began doing this his self harm & challenging behaviour was of the scale.
It would be wonderful for him to be full trained thetefore he would be able to accompany our son into settings he finds distressing. I would appreciate any information that would assist us. Many thanks
Tracy

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