No Offense America, But...

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Hey America, 

It's not me, it's you. To be fair, I've often admired you; I saved all my Canadian dollars to travel to your biggest and best cities, supported your sports teams (Go BoSox), and revered your authors (Who doesn't love a little Vonnegut?) and artists (Ed Hopper). I've dreamed of my children receiving acceptance letters to colleges like M.I.T. (Kate, of course) and NYU (my sweet Grace). You've been a huge part of my imagined future for a very long time. I wish there was an easier way to say this but, the truth is, I think you've lost your appeal in the worst possible way. You've lost your humanity. Frankly, you're a dog-kicking, racist, son of a xenophobe and I just can't let my children be a part of it, no matter how shiny your offers seem..

I'm concerned you're stuck in some sort of Matrix, with your Donald Trumps and your Fox News and your goddamn gun-love. It's fucking unnerving to watch you spout your ethnocentric ideals and terrifying to watch you talk of denying entrance to refugees of war and rights to women and minorities.

Of course, I know that some of your very own citizens are as deeply concerned as the rest of the world about your antics. I hope these clever folks know they are always welcome to come up here and stay with us. 

Later America. Our family is out.

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