If There is a God, He Sure as Hell Isn't Religious

6/9/2013

I guess I will be counting the 'unlikes' and the unfollows' after this one:

I often receive emails and comments offering prayer for Kate and our family. I usually respond with things like, "thank you for the kind words" or "we appreciate your thoughts." The truth is I am agnostic bordering on atheist and I always cringe a little at my phoney reply. It is not that I do not appreciate the positivity and the kindness; it is just that I hate pretending to be something I am not. I feel like anger towards people who reject religion might be the last socially acceptable predjudice. I am not here to debate the existence of God. I will leave that to @Godlessspellchecker. (Before you check him out I must warn you that you may experience a level of cognitive dissonance you are not ready for.) I just wanted to be real with the readers of this blog.

My grandparents were very involved in the Catholic Church. I attended Catechism. I took my first (and last) communion. I understand that world. I just don't live there anymore.

Our home is not without spirituality as the Buddha statues on my mantle with tell you. I enjoy reading about all of the great leaders and philosophers. I will encourage my girls to do the same.

I guess I am basically finally admitting that I don't need you to, 'pray away the autism'…we are good, thanks.

12 Comments

Janet Buchanan

6/9/2013 03:23:05 am

Excellent comment!

Sophiestrains link

6/9/2013 03:37:44 am

Well I still like you, even though the title of your post made me splutter on my salami sandwich lol. I am atheist to the bone, we do have a Catholic background and not to insult any member's of hubby's family I strive for diplomacy. I did get praying for you and yours etc comments and just thank them and move on. But I really want to say is - if your god can take Sophie's autism away, why'd he give it to her in the first place?!
There, I feel better now :)

Lucy LeBlanc

6/9/2013 03:50:19 am

Shanell, I have always believed the traditions and/or rituals of organized religion truly do not represent the spirituality of what I feel when I am uplifted or enlightened. The "religious" sector tend to set up more boundaries and prejudice than what I choose to live by. Whether it is God I believe in or the goodness that can be found in others, it should not be my place to marginalize others who do not believe what I do. There are those who would argue that even though you so not believe in God, he believes in you. If this is true, terrific! God - Buddha, Usha, Glooscap, who or whatever- knows, it's great to have so many people on your team.

Sara

6/9/2013 04:09:37 am

Well said, my friend. Well said.

Grama

6/9/2013 04:29:01 am

After a very Catholic upbringing and being on this earth almost six decades, did I really say six decades!! I believe we all need to have a faith in something to get us through the "hard times". I also believe each of us are entitled to choose where we seek that strength as long as it is a peaceful source that carries us through our dark hours. I too appreciate all the "prayers" and positive thoughts sent our way for our precious Kate :) She is Grama's hero !

Tracy

6/9/2013 05:53:13 am

You are so adorable. I love this post. While our home shares a more traditional faith, we are not the ones that force it on those who don't ask for it. There will be no "praying" away my own Macey's autism orsweet Kates for that matter. I would never unlike or unfollow. Differences are what makes the world go round. I'll never pray it away for your family, but silently and on my own I will pray for compassion and strength for your family..whether you need it or not...:-D

Susan Clarke(Kleyn-Molekamp)

6/10/2013 05:21:49 am

Thank you for your honesty. I do believe but I am not a church goer. I pray for you and Alex and Kate and Grace and your friends and families .. for peace, for strength, for wisdom and knowledge, for joy in the small things, etc. Kate is who she is supposed to be, a wonderful child, just as Grace and all children are. I hope this is okay with you. I have learned, in my old age, that I need to believe in something greater than I.

Shanell

6/10/2013 09:19:02 am

Thanks for all the very understanding comments and thanks for not high-tailing it outta here. I appreciate you all.

Irene

6/10/2013 10:14:54 pm

Do you know how wonderful you are? In fact, your entire family? That is a blessing my new friend. Being Catholic to the core, I find it difficult not to pray for everyone, evrywhere in the world. It's as much a part of me as the heart beating inside of me. So, although I'll refrain from individually naming you in my prayers, you are included in the world part. Just can't help myself!!! <3

K in Oz

1/14/2014 01:17:45 pm

As a praying person, may I gently suggest that perhaps they are not praying for "God to take the autism away", but that you and your husband would continue to have the strength and perseverance to parent the way Kate needs best, and that she would grow and learn and be loved? At least, I hope that's the sort of thing they're praying for! (Having just read http://www.goteamkate.com/1/post/2013/06/autism-advocacy-the-double-edged-sword.html , I can see that I could be wrong :( )

Thanks for your blog. I came across it from the letter you wrote to the guy sitting next to you two on the plane that has been in the media today, and I have learnt so much in the last hour...!

Laura

1/15/2014 01:49:58 am

Hey Shanell, this blog post is the straw that broke this camel's back.... in a good way!

For the past few days, I have been reading your blog but haven't commented or anything. Honey, I love ya, and your family. I first heard about your blog on Facebook via some page I can't remember, it was a link to your open letter to the nice guy who sat next to Kate on a plane. Since reading that, I've become enamored with your story.

I've been reading your blog, mostly reading backward from that open letter, but also skipping around and reading other posts that speak to me. Now, I do not know a person with autism and I am not even a parent yet. I'm in my early 20's and frankly raising my pets is about the most I can handle right now. However, I love your insights into motherhood and family. I have learned a lot about autism and hopefully someday I will meet someone that will allow me to exercise what I've learned from you.

Mostly, I am touched by the bond between your girls. I can tell that you are too. Being a sister is an important job, and when I was a little girl I was not always the best sister to my younger sis. To this day (she's 18 now) I regret not being a better sister. Grace is a real inspiration to me. She, at such a young age, knows much more about the power of sisterhood than I ever did. I'm sure Kate feels the strength of that bond too.

I also admire that you write this blog. It must be therapeutic for you, but please know you are also doing the world a great service by sharing. Stories like this help people like me understand people with autism, and how to help/understand/support families like yours (and also what does not constitute help!).

I just wanted to tell you that I am loving your blog, learning a ton, and am so very inspired by your awesome family. I think you're honest, witty, and a wonderful mom. I'm certainly not praying for you (also an agnostic), but I am smiling as I read your blog and I'm sending all the good vibes I can muster your way.

PS Your girls are too stinkin cute! I loved the pics of apple picking.

1/15/2014 02:12:34 am

Oh and I forgot....GO TEAM KATE!

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If There is a God, He Sure as Hell Isn't Religious

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