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I talk about Autism, a lot

I Know You

11/11/2013

3 Comments

 
Picture
Some of you have little sensory-defenders.  The idea of going to the movies is laughable, let alone a place like Disney World.  You take your neurotypical children to restaurants and movies and sit with the full realization that your family is not complete.  Your sensitive little one sits with a Grandparent while three quarters of your family takes part in an activity some would consider mundane.  You are told that they are happier there and you should feel reassured that you are making a good choice to protect them from the harsh sights and sounds of the restaurant/theatre/mall.  They would hate the movies, anyway. You know that.  But it hurts you. You may even look to other families with a twinge of jealously or even contempt for their oblivion.  They look bored and cranky.  You wonder what boredom feels like.  You never fully enjoy an outing because you feel cheated.  

Some of you have little sensory-seekers.  The idea of going to the movies is threatening to other theatre patrons.  You know your child could single-handedly shut down Disney World.  You often leave your child with a Grandparent, if you should be so lucky, because they can go from zero to meltdown in a matter of seconds.  You can't stare at the other families with derision because you are trying to stop your child from damaging public property.  No matter, though, because they are all staring at you.  You never fully enjoy an outing because you are afraid for the safety of others.

Some of you, like me, have a child that is a therapy-defying mix of the two.

I know a little about you because I live where you live.  I also know that you have never and will never wish to be in someone else's shoes.  I know you stare at that little person with the same adoration as any parent might.  I know you pilot their course on little sleep and less money and you really don't mind.

I know they would thank you if they could.

3 Comments
erin
11/10/2013 10:23:59 pm

Thanks! This is exactly what it's like. The relieving thing that occasionally happens is when another person out there makes eye contact with you, or sometimes even says the right thing, and you know without a doubt they're living it too!

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Sophiestrains link
11/10/2013 11:58:37 pm

Spoken from the perspective of myself and my son (both very verbal, with big-time sensory issues) - we don't mind being left behind, really. Avoiding the activity is much more preferable to having our senses assaulted. Really. Really :). It is ok.
Sometimes though I do feel bad for Sophie who is a seeker and would enjoy certain things (like a gymnastic class for example) but can't follow the structure or routine AT ALL. So it is a matter of finding a class with no expectation of following any kind of routine, just allowing her a go at their facilities.
Honestly, in my big-winded usual way I'm saying- sensory defending is totally ok to avoid, sensory seeking is ok to look for suitable activities. Hope I made some sense :$

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emily
11/20/2013 10:47:33 am

Isabel is a mix of the two, though more of a defender than a seeker. I want to take her to public places, but I find that when I do it is so difficult to relax. I'm always on edge, trying to prepare for the screaming, or whatever else could happen. She really does well (in my opinion) in restaurants (usually), but places like the grocery store, with the buzzing lights, is a definite no. I so enjoy coming to this site, because I know that I'm going to read at least one, if not many posts, that I relate to. It is like reading my own story, and it's so nice to be reminded that there are others who have experiences similar to mine. You do a great job of expressing exactly what we parents feel. Thanks for giving me a place to read precisely what I'm thinking and feeling!

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