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I talk about Autism, a lot

Dear Oakley: An Autism Service Dog Answers Your Questions

11/21/2014

11 Comments

 
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Dear Oakley,

Isn't this Autism Service Dog thing really a racket? Frankly, I am sick of hearing about it.

Sincerely, 

Charles "I'm still not sold that autism is anything more than bad behavior" Dickson

Dear Chuck,

Obviously, autism has yet to touch your life, but with number like 1 in 68 you're sure to be touched soon. It's going to hurt, too. It's going to hurt really bad; especially because the guilt you'll feel for never allowing yourself to understand this complex disorder will overwhelm you. You're done having children (I hope) and thankfully all your children are fine and even successful for many reasons. I'm sure you credit their stern upbringing for their successes, while I'm sure they don't. When they have children I sincerely hope you don't have to hear the words: "Dad, I think there is something wrong with my baby" because Chuck; that's going to crush you like you could never ever imagine. And if that happens Chuck, you'll do anything and everything earthly possible to help that perfect little grandbaby of yours get by in this world, including getting a service dog like me.

Best,

Oakley

p.s. That reminds me. I must suggest service dogs be trained to relax cranky old bastards
.


Dear Oakley,

Why should you be allowed in public and in schools? What if my child is allergic to you? What then? Are Kate's needs more important than my child's needs?

Sincerely,

A Concerned Parent


Dear Concerned Parent,

My girl, Kate, uses up every ounce of her little body's energy to navigate a world that seems strange to her. Her brain is wired differently and much of what we take for granted can be physically and mentally anguishing for her. We refer to her energy as tokens. A birthday party, for example, may take 40 of her 50 daily tokens. A visit to the grocery store may use 25 of those tokens. Many days, simply negotiating her day can use up many more than the 50 tokens she has available. Sometimes that little ninja will be so confused and so overwhelmed by what is expected of her that she'll cry four times before noon. That is where I come in. I will help her hold onto those tokens by keeping her safe and calm in environments that her brain cannot make sense of. Furthermore, I keep that little girl safe from elopement (running off) which is extremely common in children with autism. She is anchored to me (literally and metaphorically) and I won't ever let her go.

Now, to answer your question: I'm sorry, what was it again? Your kid has allergies or something?

Best,

Oakley

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Dear Oakley,

How do I distinguish Kate's bad behaviour from her autism?

Sincerely,

Joan "Why is she so bad" Vaughan

Dear Joan,

Kate exhibits behaviors at times and some of them may seem terrible to you, but as long as I am around she will not be defined by them. Her behaviors are a manifestation of her utter confusion with a world full of people that won't take the time to try and relate to her. Do you understand? She is Kate; a little girl who loves ninja turtles and superheroes and hugging. We spend far too much time talking about what she does that is considered "bad" or "wrong". I think you can tell by the look on our faces in this photo that we don't want to hear it anymore. Why don't you ask me about all the cool things we do? Or you could ask me what I love most about my girl. It's her hugs, by the way. She has mastered the art. Maybe, that's exactly what you need?

Best,

Oakley
.


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Dear Oakley,

What about Kate's sister, Grace? It seems cruel to keep her from the dog in her home. What's the point?

Sincerely,

A. Softy


Dear A. Softy,

I get it, I really do. It does hurt Grace's parents to watch her shrink sadly back while I do my job with Kate. Just so you know, Grace finds ways to spend time with me, even if she isn't supposed to. Worry not though, Grace's parents have weekly "Gracie Nights" where the focus is entirely on her. She lives for these nights and it is great fun to watch her bask in the attention she so greatly deserves. In fact, her parents even bought her a cat to make sure she didn't feel left out when I arrived. It's a sad consolation prize if you ask me but she seems to be thrilled with her strange little cat.

Best,

Oakley



11 Comments
Shari
11/20/2014 11:59:12 pm

I absolutely love this post. One of our children is autistic and our service dog is now almost 19yrs old. She is a joy and definitely brings a calming sense to everyone that comes to our home. Hugs to Oakley, Kate, Grace and all of your family!

Reply
Karla
11/21/2014 12:25:29 am

Great responses Oakley!

Reply
Elizabeth brewer
11/21/2014 12:32:49 am

Dear Oakley- You are one wise dog. I wish you had time to write a blog as well, but I know you are doing your job and that it is full time. When you get really tired, remember what a great job you are doing. As for the cat? Well, my deepest sympathies but she is helping Grace so I guess you will just have to put up with her, as tough as it is! I hope you get some time to do more appearances on here and tell us how things are going and your adventures with the entire family.

Reply
Kathryn Storino
11/21/2014 01:04:53 am

What an awesome and smart dog you are! You are so good for Kate! :-) thanks for the awesome post

Reply
Katie trask
11/21/2014 02:45:07 am

Thank you so very much.. it's amazing how close minded some people can be. My 6 yr old is autistic and it really grinds my gears when they don't take the time to understand him and only focus on the things he doesn't do or what they view as wrong. We love our children no matter what. It makes me smile knowing Kate has you cause I know how important you are to her well being. Keep up the great work. Love and kisses.

Reply
Rosie Lawlor
11/21/2014 03:06:19 am

oakley I would like to ask why you are so cute? Oh and keep up the good work! Shame people can't see before Oakley and after Oakley, as these service dogs make a huge difference! One less meltdown a day, focusing better for 5 more minutes an extra cuddle a day, makes all the difference, but service dogs don't understand this, they love and support unconditionally

Reply
Jessica
11/21/2014 04:52:44 am

I'm thrilled this is working so well for your Lil ninja and the rest of the family. Thank you for sharing these parts of your life, it has made mine a bit easier to navigate with my little one.

Reply
Susan
11/21/2014 07:47:16 am

Great Job Oakley :)

Reply
sandy surette
11/21/2014 08:16:47 am

Oakley you are a wise dog!I think you will teach a lot of people what is really important about your family !keep up the great work ps love your hugging Gracie too!★♡♥♡!

Reply
Toni
11/21/2014 10:29:42 am

Oakley, I am so glad Kate has you...together as a team you will help her conquer each day and then relish in a job well dine hug...thank you for making her days make sense...Cowabunga Dude!!

Reply
LIZ CROSS
11/22/2014 11:14:40 pm

Dear Oakley you rock....I laughed and cried at your answers...what a great personality you have.and you are a amazing writer......

Reply



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