Why did you get to board the plane before me? As you can see from my Brooks Brothers suit and the latest version of the IPad I am a very important business man. My deadlines are looming and every minute I am not plugged in costs my company money.
Owner and Chief Operator of Balloon Animals Inc.
Firstly, can I book you for my next birthday party? Secondly, I apologize because I failed to notice the lovely suit and the latest technology you held during my very painful sensory meltdown. I guess you could compare it to that time when you went to Legal Seafood and they were out of your favourite beer. For me, it was so overwhelming that I lost what language I have and both of my parents and my little sister worked hard to bring me back from a place that is tough for all of us. I don't always meltdown at that level but when I do I make sure it is extremely inconvenient for executives like yourself. If my father wasn't so busy holding me close and calmly helping me recover he might have had the time to politely explain autism to you with his fist. My mother would not have been so kind.
Why did you cry on the plane? You look old enough to understand that you must stay in your seatbelt until the seatbelt sign goes off. It was disruptive and dangerous when you screamed and took off your seatbelt before that little light went out? I travel all the time and I've never had the misfortune of sitting near a child that was so difficult!
Joan "This is my second time on a plane" Johnson
I could tell immediately by your travel pillow and that brand new copy of In Style, that you are a seasoned traveller. I sincerely hope that I was not too disruptive to you during the flight. I could not understand the rules of the plane as language is not a reliable way to communicate to me. I prefer visuals, so my parents worked hard to show me what had to be done. The noise of the plane, the strange lighting and seatbelt were very difficult for me to navigate. I often asked to get off the plane, which must have been so frustrating for you to hear. Imagine, how my parents felt at 30,000 feet? In the end, I heard my parents discuss the idea of removing you from the plane at 30,000 feet. I guess they felt my confusion was easier to manage than your judgemental looks.
Why did you have a disability access pass at Disney? You don't look disabled? Where is your wheelchair? My knees have been hurting all day and I don't appreciate seeing you ahead of me in line. My aunt's sister's cousin's child has autism and he can't even talk! So, don't tell me you have autism because I heard you ask for a drink of water! Stop taking advantage of the system! My arthritic knees deserve that pass more than you!
Lois "Too old to be trading pins at Disney" Mercer
That pass was about as useful as the parenting advice I assume you dole out daily. It didn't move us any faster through lines than a FastPass and it was awkward to obtain and show everyone we encountered. We gave it a try because waiting is a concept that I have yet to master. Kinda like you and your problem with the concept of kindness. I know my parents would never waste precious time explaining my condition to you so I will give you your first lesson. I have autism and I don't care if you believe it.
It was so frustrating to see you scream at Goofy while my children and I were waiting patiently in line. My children did not appreciate the noise and commotion and we had been waiting forty-five minutes when you walked up screaming that you 'wanted to see Goofy!" Well, get in line sister, just like the rest of us. What makes you so special? If you are going to scream, your parents should take you right out of the park. We paid good money to be here, too!
Donna "I still force my teenagers to go to Disney with me" Wade
It's comical to me that you thought my behaviour was the stand out in that line. Yes, I was having trouble understanding that I had to wait my turn to see Goofy but the real show was a grown woman wearing head to toe Disney garb standing in line to see Goofy with two, understandably, mortified teenaged children. I know your goal in writing this letter to my parents was to teach them a little something about parenting but let me, instead, share some wisdom with you. Your teenagers don't want to travel with you to Disney anymore and that wasn't coffee in their tumblers.
Happy Mail to:
27 Wellington Row
Saint John, NB
Click below for info on getting a custom illustration of your pet, by yours truly!
Grace and Kate's mom. (Shanell)