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I talk about Autism, a lot

Dear Kate:  A Little Girl Answers Your Questions About Autism (Part 2)

12/16/2013

14 Comments

 
Picture
Dear Kate:

How come you only eat beige foods?  I think you might be malnourished and your parents need to force you to eat something with nutritional value.  I would make my child sit at the dinner table until she ate what was in front of her!  You sound like a spoiled brat to me.  Maybe, your terrible diet is half of your problem.

Sincerely,

The Surgeon General of Stunnedville




Dear Surgeon General,

First, let me be clear.  My only problem is that you had enough time to kill between your hot yoga and learn to knit classes and it gave you reason to speak to my mother.  Secondly, I eat a very specific diet for reasons that are sensory in nature.  I find the idea of eating an orange revolting.  The smell makes my eyes sting and the texture turns my stomach.  The colour of the green beans on my plate forces me to look away.  Furthermore, when there is pita bread on my plate I can eat it.  When you add strawberries beside that pita bread you have changed both foods as I am only comfortable with one food at a time.  My parents have already spoken with multiple specialists in the field of limited diets and autism and they all agree that I am doing just fine with the current food expansion program that I am on.  My mother sneaks powdered vitamins and omega 3s into the baby food that she still feeds me at the expense of looks from people like you.  If you would like to learn more about my diet please feel free to click
here.  I likely have a better diet than you because clearly you have eaten something that has turned you into a righteous asshole.

Best,

Kate


Dear Kate,

Why do you still chew on baby teethers?  I knew a girl who let her child have a soother until he was four and it was absolutely ridiculous.  All the moms at playgroup talked about her as soon as she left the room. You'll never see my son doing something so foolish. Children should be weaned from baby items like tethers   She isn't doing you any favours by letting you hold onto such a bad habit.  Why don't you start breastfeeding again, instead?  At least that would prove that you have a good mom.

Sincerely,

Co-dependent Cathy


Dear Cathy,

Someday, in the future, I am going to make friends with your son's wife because she is going to need someone to drink with.  Otherwise, you should know that I do not chew on baby teethers.  I chew on very chic chewelry.  It is jewelry that allows me to work out some of the oral sensory issues I have.  I often have the overwhelming need to bite down and rather than hurt those around me I have learned to chew some of that anxiety away on my very hip collection of chewelry.  In fact, as I read your letter I had to immediately reach for a piece because otherwise I may have bitten right through mom's laptop. 

Best,

Kate



Dear Kate,

Why do you choose to play alone?  Sometimes, I feel bad when you don't choose to play with my daughter.  She did say she would let you be Ken in her Barbie game.  What more do you want?  Do you not like her?  I really want to tell my friends that she has a friend with special needs. 

Sincerely,

Sister Mary Catherine of Suburbia,



Dear Sister,

I choose to play alone because I am independent and strong and the social conventions that rule your anxious world don't affect me in the least.  I like your daughter.  She is just not into Ninja Turtles yet.  Her tastes are more freshman right now.  When she becomes more sophisticated we can play turtles together. I play alone because I am a honey badger.  If you don't know what that is, please click here.  I like being a bad ass.  It makes my parents smile.  They know I will be fine.  I hope you don't share your anxieties about fitting in with your daughter.  She is pretty cool herself and I hope she stays that way. 

Best,

Kate

P.S.  Could you please leave the little deaf girl alone.  She isn't interested in being checked off your good deeds list either.  She'll friend your daughter should she see fit. 


14 Comments
Jessi
12/16/2013 04:24:02 am

I love this. And where do I find Chewerly? I am so tired of hot wheels with no wheel... :) Not only does my little guy have oral sensory but PICA as well... if I can give him something to bite/chew/etc... he doesn't pick up random objects!!!

Reply
Shanell
12/17/2013 11:17:26 pm

I find it online Jessi. But, usually, and OT can get you some. It is the best!!

Reply
Jessi
12/18/2013 12:54:20 am

We are on a wait list for OT have been for over a year.... Seems Alaska keeps the OTs pretty busy!!!

Katherine
1/13/2014 03:32:20 am

Your blog is amazing. I have no ties to autism, but it is both fascinating, and educational -- and blunt, not sugar coated, which I love. I came via the HuffPost article "Dear Daddy". Kudos to you and your husband for your patience and endless love!

Reply
Hope
1/14/2014 04:18:02 am

Thank you for sharing your blog. It feels awesome reading your blog knowing there's another family out there sharing the same world through their little ones eyes, as well.

Reply
CBlonde
1/14/2014 06:38:42 pm

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of raising your daughter! Don't worry about what other people think is right, you know her best :) And there is nothing wrong with finding comfort in something designed for younger children, I'm a 22 year old with aspergers and I still need a comforter to sleep, and that's ok:)

Reply
FaeryFun
1/14/2014 09:38:01 pm

Omg the honey after comment nailed it! I LOVE this! I really need to start looking at my boy the way you look at Kate. Way to put a positive slant on their characters. You totally rock!

Reply
FaeryFun
1/14/2014 09:40:04 pm

* that would be honey badger comment. Damn predictive text!

Reply
Joe
1/14/2014 10:58:55 pm

Oh my god the reply to "Co-dependant Cathy" was brilliant!
I've only just found your blog and I love it! This is the first post I have read and it was great, I really admire your replies. Your morals are amazing.

All the best,
Joe.

Reply
Catherine
1/16/2014 12:34:28 pm

Your blogs are great and very educational. I mean that. But I don't see how one rudeness excuses another (I am referring to name calling and sarcasm). I think more people who do not have children - and really, the childless are most likely going to be your target market as they are the most likely to have zero empathy for any parent, as they have no idea how hard it is - would be more open to reading the great information you have to offer if you didn't come off as defensive. No need for the "My only problem is that you had enough time to kill between your hot yoga and learn to knit classes and it gave you reason to speak to my mother" or calling someone ""The Surgeon General of Stunnedville." You could have easily just started with "...I eat a very specific diet for reasons that are sensory in nature." Judging others is just as bad as them judging you or your daughter. If your goal is to educate people, and I am sure it is, that might be a better approach. I hope you will take this suggestion seriously and in the manner it was intended: as sincere advice for someone (YOU) who is obviously a great and loving parent but needs a little work with her delivery.

Reply
Karen
1/18/2014 01:18:40 am

I just want to commend you on your parenting of child with special needs. I myself along with my husband are raising our granddaughter who has down syndrome. I have been reading your blogs, and found myself being alot like you. Keep up the GREAT work!

Reply
Lori Holt link
1/20/2014 12:35:45 am

OH, my gawd, can you and your family be our new best friends? My son (12) is just recently diagnosed with ASD (he has been mainstreamed in school since prek, but has significant sensory, social and eating issues, and has for years). It has taken forever to get on the right path, and I came across your blog on facebook. Thank you!!!! I adore the "Dear Kate" bits the best.

Reply
Cristy
1/23/2014 08:43:09 pm

YES! Honey badger reference!! I don't know how many times I've said that about my son because "he don't give a ****!" He was diagnosed yesterday and I'm finding it difficult to believe he's on the spectrum because he's so loving, animated, and uniquely perfect in our eyes (his dad and I). It's almost 5am and I'm reading your stories. It's a joy to read, the good and the not so good stuff only another parent would understand. Thank you!!

Reply
Kayleigh
7/10/2014 11:06:45 am

As soon as I read the "Honey badger" reference, I knew I had to comment -- you are amazing. This blog is so refreshing to read, as well as the supportive comments from a wonderful audience. I was lucky enough to interact with both of your girls at a birthday party I worked several months ago (I unfortunately didn't introduce myself, it may have gone something like -- "HI! I READ YOUR BLOG, YOU'RE BASICALLY FAMOUS! I LOVE YOU! AGSJASFGHJSFGA"). In short, I have learned so much about ASD (and understanding people in general) by following this blog, and I will continue to appreciate every person/kick-ass ninja I meet, in whatever shape and form they appear. Keep on rocking, and go Team Kate!!

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