 There are so many better reasons to cry than this, but here I am. Typing through tears because the Mother's Day crafts that came home with Kate were once again, coloured inside the lines, cut out perfectly and with perfect lettering detailing how much she loves me.
In other words, she didn't make them. Her lovely and kind support workers make sure she is never left out and always work hand over hand with Kate to create those things that every mother wants to place inside a memory box of treasures. Want to know a shameful secret? I don't put them in the memory box. I let Kate hand them to me bursting with pride and I go on and on like she's painted me a self portrait and then they sit on the counter until I throw them in the garbage with a mixture of sadness and frustration. Is that awful? I guess I don't want to save a reminder of Kate's deficits. I don't feel sentimental about the colouring and printing skills of Kate's support workers. The perfectly formed crafts and cards are stealing, from me, the right to smile at strangely formed letters of misspelled words and the disorganized colouring of a four year old. Does this sound like a criticism? It is not meant to be. I know there is no other option when it comes time to sit for arts and crafts or any fine motor activity for that matter. I am just feeling selfish this Mother's Day and I thought I might share that with you.
13 Comments
Laura Keener
5/9/2014 10:47:47 pm
I worked in child care (ages 0-5 yrs) for 21 years. The one thing that we made sure is that all art work that went home was made by the child, not the teacher. Parents don't want teacher made crafts. I am sure that Kate's support workers hearts are in the right place but they failed to see the many benefits of allowing the child to make the craft themselves. Happy Mother's Day. Enjoy your day with your beautiful girls.
Robin
5/9/2014 11:17:13 pm
We got a lot of gifts like that early on. My husband would say, "hey, his aide made you a present!" I do cherish the few that have a hint of his own effort, but what I stupid-cry about is not the fake expert coloring, but the fake idea that he is giving me a present. My kid has yet to initiate any giving gesture, so while I understand their effort to include him in the class project, it's honestly not fun to receive these "gifts" when he has no connection or pride in offering them to me. Meh, I know how you feel.
Joni Robinson
5/10/2014 01:53:24 am
I also work with children with autism in a k-3 building. We let the children do their own work. I don't think there are any mother's out there who want my art work !
Sandy
5/10/2014 02:07:46 am
My son's teachers help him get started so he knows what to do, but then they let him do what he's going to do. Everything he brings home is something he did.
stacy
5/10/2014 03:36:46 am
boy, i so relate to this!! all my son's writing and crafts and well, just about everything is done by his aide or teacher. they tell me he tellsthem what to do but i dont think there is alot of input on his part
Grama
5/10/2014 06:59:37 am
Kate does Amazing Art work on her own, I think they should give her a chance to express herself :) I know they mean well. 5/10/2014 09:09:22 am
I agree with you 100 percent! Had the same experience with my son growing up - felt the same as you. Your head is on straight - the support workers' are not!
Melody Ayer
5/10/2014 10:38:21 am
Yeah, I remember those days. 5/11/2014 06:15:28 pm
You can't do anything. That is life. Even if you don't like something, you have nothing to do but to move on over that time and still love your daughter so much!
Alexandra
5/11/2014 11:54:45 pm
I'm really sorry. That sucks.
Leyza C
5/14/2014 05:54:47 am
Wow I do the same and feels extremely guilty but I know my son did not do it. My older daughter always ask why I don't save it and it is so hard to explain that I don't want things that are not 100% made by him. It breaks my heart but all these crafts remind me of all the things my almost 4 year son can't do.
Alissa
5/16/2014 12:16:07 pm
Shanelle, you're not alone. I do the same. The things my kids do make on their own, I show off with as much pride as they show for making it
LilMissSam
6/6/2014 12:34:57 am
Don't feel ashamed or guilty by this yes her support workers put loads of effort in to make sure you receive a card or gift from Kate on special occasions but you know what I reckon if she was to hand you her most favourite superhero and ask you to play that one for her game it would be the best gift you receive from her on that particular occasion. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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