 I can't really believe I am having to address the issue of her hair. I get that some of you might not understand food aversion, or echolalia or any of the many baffling aspects of autism because these things can be pretty difficult to relate to until you've experienced them; but her hair? Seriously? Do you know the lengths we took to even get her to sit in a stylist's chair? Now that she enjoys her visits, we want to make it as wonderful as possible, and part of that is allowing Kate to choose the haircut that makes her feel her best. I know many of you understand this, and support Kate in *gasp* her freedom to choose her own hairstyle, but you might be surprised to learn that you enlightened few are rather rare. Frankly, I'm getting tired of repeating myself. I'm writing it here because some might think they're the only one that has questioned our decision to allow Kate to wear her hair short, but unfortunately, it's been the topic of many an angry email or comment. So, in an effort to reach everyone at once, here is a list of the reasons why we let Kate rock the hair she wants. 1. Long hair, although it intrigues her and she's often imagined having long mermaid hair, can be too much for her and as soon as her growing hair touches her ears and her neck she starts asking for "Johnny Test" hair. That's Johnny below. Kate identifies with him. So, obviously he's cool as shit. (She even got a little of that flashy red that makes Johnny so great.)   2. Maybe you prefer little girls to have traditional haircuts. That's great. When you were little I hope your parents allowed you to have the haircut you wanted. Your preference, however, does not give you the right to look sadly towards Kate as if she is missing her only chance to have long little girl locks. You're being judgemental and I promise you Kate would never, ever judge you for your choice of hairstyle.
3. It's 2016. That means your insistence that little girls wear their hair long is a bit antiquated. Remember, as I wrote earlier; your personal preference is fine. Your disapproval of others that don't share your opinion is not. 4. Surely, you have bigger things to worry about than our little girl's hair. Right? Right? 5. She looks amazing in that righteous little cut. So, unless you have something nice to say...
13 Comments
Shelley
1/30/2016 11:35:27 am
Good for you. I fought these struggles when Madison was little. Hang on and fight the good fight. Madison is doing very well and has a good future because I did not give in to the nay sayers. When people don't understand that long hair can physically hurt children with autism. .they have no right commenting on a hair style.
Jessica
1/30/2016 11:39:01 am
Hi, my 5 yo son is on the spectrum and he has long. Like down to the middle of his back, long! He loves his hair long. He's even wearing his hair down, per his own request.
Janet
1/30/2016 11:43:36 am
She is perfect and her hair rocks!
Judy Schillick
1/30/2016 12:14:18 pm
She is a beautiful little girl and I think the hair cut is perfect. Shows off her beautiful eyes and facial features!
Melissa Lynn Benham
1/30/2016 01:09:38 pm
Kate's the best and she rocks that short hair like nobody else could! I wish I could look so good!
Jeanine Hartman
1/30/2016 01:25:05 pm
Kate is beautiful. And I applaud you for giving her a choice. Hair length has not much to do with gender. Thank you!
Lisa
1/30/2016 01:44:05 pm
Johnny Test rocks!
annafannabanana
1/30/2016 07:20:25 pm
I don't see how anyone would worry about such a thing . She's cute as all get out and anyone that disagrees with her style choice can let my Meemaw comb the tangles from their hair in her jerking , yanking short tempered way .
Carolyn
1/30/2016 11:24:40 pm
It is just hair people....There are other more important things in life to worry about!!!!! Oh and it's really nobody's business.
Tracy
1/31/2016 06:00:26 am
It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly insensitive, rude & downright mean people can be. Can't imagine what it's like to have a life so free from worries, stresses & troubles that I have the time and feel the need to post mean comments about a little girl's hairstyle! Grow up people! Smh! 1/31/2016 07:40:33 am
Love this so much. I asked my girl (who is nine and can now express herself, given a choice) if she wanted "short" or "long" hair. She replied "long" (after having had short hair for nine years). Fair enough- but she is unique, so I asked her, as we are growing out her hair, if I could shave the side and give her a funky undercut. She didn't quite understand- and didn't want me to cut it- but I admit, I did it anyways, because my funky-selfish-self knew she'd look awesome. Turned out, I think she was worried I would shave all of it off... so she was happy with it- and it makes the growing out process a lot easier. I find that no matter what I do with her hair, as long as I praise her and tell her how awesome and gorgeous she is (because she is), it's all good. She gets so much praise at school for her funky asymmetrical cut, too- I was surprised- but her teachers love it. Anyhow, it's hard to know exactly what your child wants when they aren't fully able to express themselves in the traditional sense. All we can do is try to be their voices the best we can- but inevitably our own preferences are going to "leak out" a bit. Either way, what's important is that our kids are happy- that's all that matters- and I think your post explains this quite perfectly!
Heather
2/3/2016 04:28:48 pm
Why does it matter how anyone wears their hair? Most girls in my daughter's class have short hair. Also, I remember my grandmother despairing at my choice to have long hair when I was a girl, she thought it was "so untidy". There is no "right" way for a girl to have her hair cut, ASD or not!!! Crazy, crazy world!!! My little boy has Autism, and I know how hard it is to get a child with ASD to sit in a salon and have a haircut, believe me. Thank God for iPads right? No one should judge our children for who they are or how they look. You keep doing what you doing. The best thing we can teach our children is to celebrate difference, in themselves, and each other. The more I travel on our Autism journey ( 5 years now) the more I realise that actually they teach us so much about tolerance, patience, and what sweet innocence is. Who are we to change them or judge. Let our children be who they want to be and let it be on their terms. I used to get so stressed about haircuts and having him conform, because he would "feel and look" better with short hair, like his twin brother. Then I gave up the fight, I left his hair to grow and grow, I took the stress away from him, from me, we didn't go near a salon for over a year. Then one day he came to me and said "When am I getting a haircut?" I allowed him control and guess what we went to the salon, he had a haircut, and it was fine. He is happy, I am happy, it's another milestone. That's the trick, I apply this lesson to everything we struggle with now. All the best from the UK. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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