A Fat Girl at Crossfit, Update

It’s been a little over six months. I’m still working out. Trust me, there is no one more surprised than me. My whole life, I’ve been more of the “I don’t want to play if I can’t win” kind of person. Which makes coming in dead last in most workouts, counter-intuitive to my very nature. I suppose, that’s a good thing, because that attitude wasn’t really working for me, anyway.


Okay, so an update:


I haven’t lost any more weight. That’s kind of a bummer, sure, but I’ve made other gains, so to speak. I’ll share a couple of journal pages below so you can see where and how I track my progress and my fitness goals.


I think you should know, that talking about fitness, writing about fitness and even thinking about fitness is still very foreign to me. I feel like a poser, a phoney, a fucking wannabe, but I keep going because of the people. I can promise you, my will power, and my motivation have very little to do with my current level of willingness to walk into that gym. It’s totally the amazing people that workout there.


First, there is my husband. He’s supportive, of course, but more than that, he will try and smooth the waters for me wherever we go. For example, when we go to a restaurant, he often asks me to approve his meal because he knows his fickle wife may decide she hates her meal and need to switch with him. (So, I have serious food issues. That can’t surprise you)


Next, my friends, that jumped in, feet first, just because I told them I loved it. I suppose, they are probably wondering what kind of crazy voodoo have these people preformed on her to get her ass moving because prior to Crossfit, she didn’t move unless...well, ever.


Next, we have the people at the gym. I need you to know that I AM NOT exaggerating when I say, they are all awesome. We’ve made some great friends and I know we stand to make many more. Maybe it’s the constant flood of serotonin that makes these people so great, but that’s for another post.


Now, if you want to get to the nitty gritty of it, and let’s face it, you would have stopped reading by now, if you didn’t, here’s the quick and dirty:


I’m still fat.


I’m still weighing in at 250lbs, though I’m stronger than ever. The weight does bug me, shame me, piss me, the fuck, off, but I’m patient.


In the meantime, I continue to work on getting DIESEL as fuck, just kidding, kinda....


Here’s what’s going through my mind, lately, when I’m working out.


“Did I just pee a little?”


“Fuck, I forgot to count.”


“Can lungs, actually, explode?”


“I just threw-up in my mouth.”


“Holy Christ, I can’t believe I did that.”


“I want to be like her/him/them.”


“Jesus Fuck, it’s hot in here.”


“Fuckin’ Burpees.”


“These people are so beautiful.”


“Stop staring!”


“I can taste last night’s wine.”


“Maybe I should get a tattoo?”


“How can I talk Alex into a third cat?”


“If I ever complete a pull-up, I will buy myself a one-wheel.”


“Why don’t we have a hot tub?”


“I needed to find this ten years ago.”


There are many more random thoughts running through my mind, on the rare occasion I can think at all.


That’s it for now.


More Later 🏋️‍♀️