Diary of a Dad

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Every week is an eventful week on Team Kate.  Every week we manage appointments and wait for word on important issues that are out of our control. Like, where will Kate’s treatment take place? When will it start? Who will be working with her?  I’m a bit of a control freak. I’m an engineer and I love solving tough problems that make people’s lives better. I like making people happy when they are frustrated or hurt.  So you can imagine my frustration with the process of getting Kate into treatment. Nothing is in our control. Nothing…Why can’t they see what I see? Do they realize the knife’s edge that Kate is on? Do they know that if she doesn’t get into treatment with a quality person her life could be affected forever? Do they see the potential I see? She’s two and a half.  Her chances of having a good outcome are really good.  The importance of early and intensive intervention is highlighted in every publication, every essay, and every paper produced on the subject of autism treatment.  But here’s the part that’ll really bake your noodle and make you want to scream. They do know how important getting Kate into treatment is. They just can’t get it done for her.  We are dealing with the egos and priorities of adults who don't know, and cannot know what it is like to feel helpless when your child needs help. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve seen an adult’s ego or need to feel validated get in the way of a child’s success.  I mean how dare you?  I’ve coached sports and watched parents put their goals and ambitions onto their children.  I’ve seen adults who don’t get along refuse put their shit aside to do what’s best for a child.  They say keep an even keel. Don’t get too high with the highs or too low with the lows. “It’s a long season”.  Could someone explain to me how I am supposed to keep an even keel when my child needs something and I can’t give it to her? I’m lost. There are days when we feel we are close to getting her what she needs and then just as quickly we are back to square one.  I feel like bad parent. I know what she needs and I can’t get it for her. Never has “so close but so far” been so appropriate. Your treatment’s coming Baby Kate.  We’ll get you what you need. The sky is the limit babe; no adult's ego will take that from you. I promise.