Sure, she can talk. I relish every word, too. I remember the days when she couldn't. I remember wondering if she ever would. Now she talks. She talks pretty much non-stop. Sometimes, it drives me crazy and I feel immediately guilty for thinking that because some of you have yet to hear the sound of your child's voice--some of you might never hear that sound. I do, however, need you to understand that although Kate can talk her communication is mostly unreliable. If the interaction is one that we have practiced time and again, the she might get it right with just a few errors. But, if the conversation is new to her she will unlikely be able to process it correctly and her response, if any at all, will be unreliable and make little sense. Can Kate tell you about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sure. In a heartbeat. Could she tell you what she wants for her birthday? Sure thing. Can she tell you what she did today at school? Nope. Could she tell you who she was or where she lived if lost? Not a chance. Kate also struggles to recognize people. She still mixes up the identities of people she sees day in and day out. Much like her nickname for her pal on the plane she will choose a name for you that is familiar to her. If you fit the bill, you may get the handle she sees fit. For example, many of the ladies in the line behind us at the grocery store are called Grandma. She knows they are not her Grandma, but that's where her brain goes when she wishes to address them. (Yes, in completely related news, she addresses strangers daily--this speaks to her dangerous and pathological trust of the world around her as stated in previous posts). Why am I telling you all this? Not because I want you to know that verbal does't mean what you think it means, although that may be the case, but because autism is a social communicative disorder and no matter where your child sits on the vast spectrum we must be cautious of unreliable communication.
4 Comments
ShanEda Lumb
3/5/2015 06:42:26 am
I am an Aspergers adult.
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This is a concept that is so very hard to explain to people. My son (23) can talk, yes. But communication is an entirely different thing. He can tell me what he wants - he can script - he can "remind" me over and over again what he wants to do, later, next week, next month, but if something is wrong, or something hurts or something happened or even if nothing happened - just what he did that day is not anything that comes easy for him. Verbal and communication - two VERY different things... He does not always understand the "who, what, where, when" questions and asking a question more than once will get you that many different answers as he thinks he's got it wrong and changes his answer.
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Leslie
3/6/2015 06:55:00 am
My son is four-and-a-half. He's on the autism spectrum. Years ago when we were baffled about his behavior, I quickly took autism off the list. Why? Because he talked. A lot. Repeated commercials like a pitchman. It wasn't until I learned the difference between 'talking' and 'communicating' that it all made sense. I hate to scare new moms, but instead of having someone barge into your hospital room and go on-and-on about breast feeding, why not leave a pamphlet with new moms about autism awareness. The early signs. It would have served our family well.
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"Yes, in completely related news, she addresses strangers daily--this speaks to her dangerous and pathological trust of the world around her as stated in previous posts" - I find this very interesting. I remember as a child I was told not to talk to strangers. For a few months when I was 5 years old I was on crutches, and I remember an incident when I was on my way home (distance equivalent to 2 blocks ish) from a friends house, and an old man/gandpa coming up asking me about them, if I was in pain, etc. Just to be nice I'm sure, to make sure I would make it home safely. But all I could think about was "mom told me not to talk to strangerrrrrrssssss"!
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