Each day when I pick Kate up from daycare, I ask her, "What did you do today, Kate?" and she always smiles and gives me a string of babble. She has lots of words but she cannot answer a question, yet. She can't tell me how her day went. She is great at requesting things. "Mama, I want turtles, wet's do dis." or "Mama, I go outside, wet's do dis" and some of the sentences are so long and detailed that Alex and I can't believe it came out of her mouth, eg. "Mama, I pwease tell you I want hug now pwease, wet's do dis." Anything else she says is usually jibber jabber or unreliable. So, I rely heavily on those that work with her each day. They are great at patiently telling me the details of her day. Yesterday, when I picked up Kate and asked her the same question, she said, "No hitting, Kate." I was pleased because in a way I think she was telling me how her day went. Of course, I don't want her hitting the kids in her class but at least she was trying to share something with me. I'll take what I can get. If you work with children with communication difficulties,and that includes the vast majority of kids with autism, regardless of where they land on the spectrum, then please be cognizant of how removed their parents feel from their day. Remember, even children with large vocabularies can be unreliable with communication. Please share all of the good and some of the bad and even some of the mundane. It means a lot.
4 Comments
Beth
10/19/2013 05:15:14 am
Hi, I have a sweet girl with ASD too, she turned 3 last week....she sounds so much like your little one too. She can tell me what she wants, "I want to swing, Mom or Let's play outside, or I want to watch wonder pets save the dinosaur...(that was her obsession last week), but she can't tell me what she did at school that morning, or even 10 min ago. I loved this post, because she just started preschool and I want to know how her day went...I think I'm going to request a communication card with her preschool workers. I'm glad to have found your blog, not too many little girls with ASD out there!
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JBH
10/19/2013 08:40:53 am
Great post! I was in same spot a year ago. Sad and wondering if could really ever have back and forth conversation. I would ask for the play by play of his day as I couldn't get from him any answers. What did you have for lunch? Hot dog was always the the answer. What did you play at school? Jibber jabber. But it did come for us. At first I would call sitter to check it what he said was really something that happened! It was! He now recalls and recounts and we finally talk.
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Dwayne
1/14/2014 12:05:53 pm
Hello there! I just read several posts from your blog. I teach middle school. I have two children whom I teach at school with mildly-functioning autism. I have a 3rd we believe to have but is undiagnosed. Keep fighting the good fight. My guys have a number of good days, as well as a few rough ones. One student imparticular is the center of jokes, whichhe thinks he is a part of, instead of the butt of...however I'm trying to work with him. He is also a wrestler, which is great to see. I'm very impressed with that as well. I'm very interested in your blog and you have me hooked. I'll keep watching and reading intently. Fight on!
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Rebekah
1/15/2014 07:17:18 pm
I understand where she is coming from, and you as well. When someone asks me how my day went (be it my husband, mom, etc.) it is so hard for me to remember everything I once wanted to say. A lot of the time, I have to finish the conversation later, when I remember it all. I bounce topics all the time, during regular conversations. If you don't personally know me, it is hard to follow.
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