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I talk about Autism, a lot

The Mistakes That I've Made; They Don't Seem To Bother Me

1/28/2014

12 Comments

 
Picture
And, I sure as Hell don't feel like I've missed any kind of train.

I'm not perfect.  But then, you knew that.  The attention showered on this blog over the last few weeks has been wonderful but it has also brought out some criticisms that have been tough to read.

I didn't cry though.  I cried a lot this week, but I didn't shed one tear over words that were meant to sting.




I cried when Paul Pierce got a standing ovation when he returned to the garden this week.

I cried when I watched Parenthood.

I cried when I read an email from a mom who is feeling lonely and afraid.

I cried when I received a letter from a dad who is making it work despite no services for his boy

But, I didn't cry when "Not Cute" said:


Absolutely nothing great or appealing about this story. This story only entertain parents who feel it is okay for their kids to annoy people without and care for others. That man could have been tired as hell,but had to play the role society often expect us to play, that of being the good guy. My kids would never behave like that, neither would I allow them. Because I know how insulting some adults can be to kids and not all adults are kids friendly.
When you have your children behaving like this, they grow older believing it is okay to do it as teenagers or even adults. Behaviors like hers lead to bullying, because she believes everyone must accept her tantrums. If she demonstrated her behaviour for a few minutes then we could say it is somewhat cute or acceptable, but for an entire flight? Come on Lady, you even accept the fact that you often apologize for her behaviour and it hasn't dawn on you that your not parenting right?


I didn't even flinch.  This is tame compared to some of the other hatred spewed in the comments but it is a good example of why I wrote the letter to "Daddy in 16c" in the first place.  I could have just as easily ended up sitting next to this guy.


I stopped reading the comments days ago.  So, like Kate, in the picture attached to this post...."Keep talking losers 'cause we can't hear you!" 

I realize that for every hurtful comment there are fifty that make my heart swell.  I also realize that so many of you were quick to defend us and for that we are so grateful.  I would urge you now to ignore the hateful words.  The authors are craving the banter and the best course of action, as I see it, it to ignore completely, anyone that would write a venomous thought about a beautiful moment.

By the way. bonus points for anyone who can tell where I got the title (and first line) of this post.

Cheers

S




12 Comments
Jocelyn
1/27/2014 09:21:28 pm

Blind Melon - Sleepyhouse
Your raised in 1990's loved good music. A time of HMV, Much Music and 90210

Reply
Amanda
1/27/2014 10:43:31 pm

Love that song and all of you guys!! Hater gonna hate - takes a better person to not give them the satisfaction.

Reply
Molly
1/27/2014 11:48:38 pm

I'm so happy to hear you're working to let the nasty comments roll off your back. There are SO many more of us that have cried with you and learned with you and are impressed by you and Kate and Grace EVERY day. Keep it up! You're a fantastic writer and mother and I love your blog!

Reply
Michael_e link
1/28/2014 01:38:06 am

Blind Melon - Sleepyhouse

Reply
Reenie
1/28/2014 03:54:15 am

WOW!!! I don't understand people....I'm glad you didn't cry.... :)

Reply
Sara
1/28/2014 05:47:46 am

Some people just don't know nice when they see it, and they sure as hell don't see it when they look in the mirror. I didn't read any comments on the "Daddy..." post once I read one that was less than kind. It makes my blood boil. The world is a better place if I don't entertain their miserable attitudes. Plus, I'd rather revel in your family's AWESOMENESS and that of the readers who have nice things to say :) XO

Reply
Kerry Fenwick
1/28/2014 05:37:23 pm

I get it Shanell.

Reminds me of an elderly woman, years ago, saying that all my son needed was a "good smack" to sort him out (when he was having a meltdown in the post office). Ahh people and their well meaning intentions!! Water off a ducks back now.

Love what you do, it's absolutely invaluable.



Reply
Tobias
1/30/2014 05:37:32 am

Don't bother because of those idiots, who are entertained by bashing the good thing you do. In Germany we call them "trolls"... I like your homepage, i like it to read about nearly the same issues we have with our son and i like to find out, that there are so many other great kids with autism. Keep on writing, keep on smiling!

Reply
Natalie Pierce
1/30/2014 08:19:18 am

Hi there, my name is Natalie and like you I'm a mom of a beautiful child that has autism he's four years old and is one of four children that I have .. I can relate to the trips , outings, visits with the constant worry of how is my child going to behave .. ? Because everyday is different and it's wonderful , and extremely hard all at the same time .. I have had the "stares", comments and riducle of how my child is acting .. Sadly enough many people don't understand what autism really is and assume it's bad parenting or lack of .. My heart truely goes out to you .! Sincerely yours , Natalie - Nova Scotia

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Alana link
2/3/2014 08:26:08 am

Also, she's 3? I think anyone who takes a three-year-old on a plane and manages not to have her scream the whole flight is amazing.

Because that's what three-year-olds do. Because they are three. And they do play, and I feel like if they are next to you on a long flight, it is not improbably that they will talk to you, autistic or neurotypical or what. That is what happens when you sit next to a three-year-old on a plane.

(And I personally find it quite lovely whenever I get to talk to small children on flights because they can be long.)

Reply
Dani Wade link
2/5/2014 12:07:59 am

I ran into an old lady in the grocery store when our son was little who I after I picked my jaw off the floor I would have liked to have smacked! He was overly tired after therapy, in need of a nap, wanting a snack, wanting me to hold him and I had just dragged him through the grocery store trapped in the buggy buckled in. We were in line and he was having a tantrum and the lady in front of us turned and said "I think I've seen you on TV. You were on Nanny 911." I think that was the name of that Nanny show that had three different nannies. The comment confused my tired brain at first because we had just been on TV for an advertisement for the telethon for the place where he has therapy. By the time my brain caught up with the comment she was gone. Sadly the cashier apologized for the old bat!

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sarah
2/10/2014 04:15:25 am

I have a friend with autism child no one can tell that they have a especial need on til they meet them they are the most loving and difficult present near you. they can't tell with there doing even if you explain it all there life it take time and a good mom like you to work so that it can be done. don't mine the words of others that doesn't understand or care to know with autism's is let the children tell them by them self. every child is different but they give you the same loving smile in there eyes. that's all you need to focus. to keep that smile alive! I seen my friend work, cry and fight to make this child smile every day! so kkep on working that God gave you the best present! and forget the ignorance of people that doesn't care to know the reality of the human mind with autism! my blessings to you.

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