 Dear Normal,
You’re a fickle prick, aren’t you? Ever since Kate’s diagnosis, I can’t really find you. I see snippets of you here and there. Every day I interact with this side of you or that side of you. The quirky side of you is the easiest to find, but the real, true version of you is as elusive as sleep these days. Did you ever exist? I used to be so sure. In autism terms we call you “neurotypical” now. We even call people who supposedly exude you, ‘NT’s’. I would have considered myself neurotypical a few short years ago. It seems bizarre to even make that assumption now. For starters, I write letters to inanimate objects like my ceiling (coming soon) and to ‘so-called’ neurologies, like “Normal”. Furthermore, in the four short years I have known Kate I have decided that “Normal” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Did you know that I once had the following conversation with a medical professional that had the power to decide if my Kate was ‘normal’ or not? Medical Professional: Does she flap her hands? Me: Only when she is really excited. In fact, just yesterday I brought home a new Ninja Turtle for her and…… Rudely cut off by Medical Professional: “We are going to need to make her stop doing that.” Me: Why? MP: It isn’t normal development for her stage of life. Me: So. MP: She’ll stand out. Me: I don’t care. It is the way she expresses happiness. I will never try and take it away from her. MP: (Coldly) That is your decision. Me: Damn Right, it is. I think I am done looking for you Normal. So, go off and spend time with Average and Boring, where you belong. Best, Shanell
6 Comments
Cecilia
10/20/2014 09:57:41 am
I love you, girls :)
Heather
10/20/2014 02:49:59 pm
My 40 year old sister who holds a PhD in education, is an education consultant and a lovely wonderful, friend flaps her hands when she is excited. She is not NT. She is not "normal". She is super. My 8 year old with ASD flaps his hands when excited and jumps up and down. When people tell him to stop he says "I am sorry it's a problem for adults, but it's not a problem for me."
Kim
10/21/2014 07:28:26 am
Intellectuals (i.e. doctors, and occasionally therapists) can miss the boat on the difference on living with autism, rather than studying it. We can read & study all the same literature that they do - but they will never live with our kids. I have a 3 1/2 year-old daughter with autism ... and when she's happy, she meows like a cat and tries to rub her head on my shoes. Or she barks like a dog and licks my face. And I love it. :) I'm just thrilled that she has an expression of "happy" that I can see. We've seen plenty of expressions of anxiety and frustration - this is now a very welcomed addition. Not only wouldn't I change it, I don't give a damn what it looks like. It feels awesome ... for her, and for us. :) 10/28/2014 05:35:00 pm
In a word, whenever being dressed in an article of earrings will place one's heart for slumber, consequently you should being dressed in earrings? 11/13/2014 06:53:47 am
If people "don't" flap their hands when they're excited or super happy, I would be suspect of them ... truly ... OK, not every day ... but who's super happy to that degree "every" day?? Besides me, that is. I think the type of "special" that Kate presents is beyond special and already headed into another entire stratosphere ... and I am soooo happy she has her loyal companion b/c animals are the best of teachers ... they don't grade us ... they accompany us as we meander through the yard ... or what's going on in our head. She is a bundle of "special." The greatest thing I have read in this blog is how accepting you are of Kate's quirks. I squashed a lot of my stims down while growing up, and it has led to a number of self destructive behaviors. It makes me so incredibly excited for her that she has a family that embraces them and cherishes them. Thank you so much Leave a Reply. |
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