Twenty months ago I decided I would throw every ounce of energy I had into preparing the world for Kate. In doing so I have neglected myself in many ways. The most humiliating of which has been my eighty-one pound weight gain. This will come as no surprise to those that know me because cruelly enough I cannot hide this as easily as other indiscretions. I wear it, both literally and figuratively, every single day. I have absolutely despised myself for it.
Can I posit that this weight gain be as symptomatic of autism as Kate's flapping? Can I blame the changes and the challenges? If you think I am blaming Kate for my weight gain you'd be wrong. Pay attention. It doesn't really matter, though. This is one problem I won't be talking (or writing) my way out of.
It's a shame though, that as far as I've come and the successes I've had as of late, that I can't get this particular monkey off of my back.
I've joked to Alex that I have been working hard to gain this weight because editorially it would make for a fantastic before and after piece.
So, in sharing this today I was hoping that maybe you might have some words of wisdom or commiseration for me. I could use both right now.
Grace and Kate's mom. (Shanell)