Christmas day was great. It is obviously a tough season for kids with sensory issues but Kate handled it like a champ. Grace was as sweet and thoughtful as ever and worried more about delivering presents to others than opening them herself. She was even kind enough to tell you what was in the gift before you opened it :). Kate opened a few presents but was mostly finished with that business soon after we woke up. If you asked her to open a present she would say, "no presents, no pictures" so you can see she was done with me chasing her with the camera too. Kate adored her marble tower and her little Buzz and Woody bobble heads but nothing made her happier than her scissors. Kate received five pairs of kids scissors and she was thrilled. She has a thing for scissors (don't worry, we always supervise) and she spent the morning clutching them. She did try to cut the cat's fur but we managed to intervene. Otherwise, she happily cut the wrapping paper while her sister opened her gifts for her. I was worried she might want to take the scissors to bed but we managed to put them away and tuck her in with Buzz Lightyear instead. Grace's favourite present is a book I bought for her about Venice. She is fascinated by a place that has streets made of water and she wants to go there someday. The four of us will go when the girls are older for sure. I think her second favourite present is her new dress and tights from Zara Kids from Uncle Brendan. She is really putting the pressure on for me to let her wear it but I want to save it for a special occasion. That does seem silly though doesn't it? I should just let her wear it. How many chances will she get to wear it before she grows too big. This photo of Kate was taken later on in the day at her Grandparents house. Sometimes, Kate will pause and zone out for awhile. We have learned that this is the first warning that she is ready to go. Clearly, she was finished with Christmas. Soon after this photo was taken we packed them up and took the girls home to bed. All in all it was a very successful Christmas. We have learned a few things from our experiences this year. Most importantly, less is more. Kate was overwhelmed by the massive haul under the tree. She opened maybe three presents and then chose to spend some downtime with her Buzz Lightyear. Next year, we are going to make sure we tone it way down. In fact, there has been talk of spending Christmas somewhere tropical and skipping the excessive gift exchange altogther. Don't tell Gramma!
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5. Hug Every Single Person You See: Kate, appropriate or not, loves to give hugs to people. She will crawl into the lap of a stranger if you let her. But, you know what? They always smile. They always instantly feel happier once receiving a Kate hug. So, lesson five boils down to: hug people and make them smile. (feels funny typing this out because I am definitly not a 'hugger'. Unless it is my girls, of course. So, please don't hug me) ;) 4. Don't Judge: Kate likes every single person she meets. She does not care what you are wearing or what you do. She does not care if you have money or not. She does not care if you have a disability or if you've made mistakes. She is happy to be in your company. She routinely greets strangers with a big "Hi" as we walk around town. She is an equal opportunity lover of people. Lesson four: You should be too. 3. Be Sincere: Kate never lies. She never pretends to be something she is not. One of the myths of autism is that they cannot tell a lie and I do not want to perpetuate that myth with this lesson but at the moment she is as authentic as they come. For example, you can say: "Kate, did you put your banana between the couch cushions?" and you will get a "Yes, Mama." and a huge smile. You will always know where you stand with Kate. Lesson three: Be genuine to yourself and others. 2. Give it Your All: Kate doesn't hold back. No matter the situation she gives all of her energy and effort to what she is doing. To Kate, there is nothing she cannot do. She can tackle the gymnastic equipment without trepidation. She can (try to) jump off the boat and go for a swim (while it is moving!) She is fearless (which can be stressful for us, but a quality we understand to be freeing). Lesson two: Don't be afraid to go all out, whatever the task. 1. Live in the Moment: Kate does not regret yesterday or worry about tomorrow. She lives for today. She does not hold a grudge or dwell on the past. She does not fret about what will happen in the future. She is present in the moment. She does not live in her 'head' like some of us can get caught up doing. Lesson one: enjoy the moment you are in. Be present and be mindful. Kate could have written much of this letter herself. mom-ology.ca/wordpress/autism-at-christmas-please-be-understanding Dear Kate, We wrote a letter to your sister a while ago with every intention of writing a letter to you as well. We have been struggling to write it for many reasons. We did not want it to be a list of things we are sorry for but, instead, a list of things we love about you. Inevitably, though, we have to apologize for some things before we can continue. We are sorry that your treatment has been delayed due to decisions and policies and oversights beyond our control. We are so sorry that there is only one therapy approved in New Brunswick. We are so sorry that the only current option for therapy is one we do not feel is best suited for you. Your dad and I are trying to incorporate other available therapies and treatments but the expense and availability of these things can be overwhelming. You have been waiting over six months to begin your treatment. We are afraid that we have missed a very crucial time for your development. We are terrified we will make a wrong move or a bad decision. We are so grateful for your speech pathologist and your OT and Amanda for helping us get started. We are so grateful for the members of Team Kate who share advice and information and kind words with us. We promise we will not give up. We will be vigilante in fighting to get you access to the most contemporary treatments and everything you need and deserve to reach your full potential. Your father will go toe to toe with anyone to protect you. He has a very refined and educated, "you'll do what I ask and then you'll thank me for it" style of talking to people who hold the power to make key changes to autism treatment programs here in New Brunswick. My style is more like a, "there is nothing fiercer than the mother of a special needs child" kind of thing. We may be new in the 'game' but we are educated, motivated and ready to take on the world. Enough of that now. This letter is meant to tell you how much you mean to us. We want you to know you are the sweetest, most sincere, little girl. You are so easy to love. We have noticed that people are drawn to you. They quickly adore you after only one meeting. We are so glad that we are the lucky ones that get to have you. We love that each night when we put you to bed you call out, "Mama, you ok?", five times before you fall asleep. We love listening to you talk happily to your toys when you wake up in the morning. We love watching you play with your sister and your new kitten, Monty. We love your hugs and kisses. They are so genuine. We love your little behaviours that make you stand out; the 'stims' that people used to diagnose you. These are things that the 'therapy' will try and train out of you. We know you do them for good reason. We know you find comfort in them and we will not let anyone take them away from you until you are ready. We love your bright eyes and excitement whenever we walk into the room. It is a feeling we hope every parent and child feels when they see each other. We love your sparkly blue eyes and blonde curls. We love that it is near impossible to take your picture because you are so busy at playing all the time. We love that you are never mean or insincere. You are so loving and authentic, in a way that I think only a child with ASD can be. We know you will do amazing things. We know you will astound us. We are so proud of you. You are so special. You are so loved. Love Mommy and Daddy xxoo. |
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April 2022
AuthorGrace and Kate's mom. (Shanell) |