I don't understand.
Are you really going to workout? Or are you just going to park in your car and nap for forty-five minutes?
Did you really make that homemade lasagne for the potluck? Or did you buy it and transfer it to tupperware in the nick of time?
Did you really make your daughter's Christmas dress? Or did you buy it and add a ribbon for effect?
Did you seriously just volunteer to help with the school play? Or will you back out last minutes because you put your back out?
Where did you all come from? Where do you get the energy.
The Goddamn sewers and the bakers and the fucking candlestick makers. I can't keep up with you over-achieving assholes so take a chill pill and relax a spell. I want to feel like a good mother once in awhile.
Do you know what I am proud of today?
My eldest read a chapter book for fun!
My youngest only hit me once, and she caught the extra weight in my thigh so it hardly hurt at all.
My eldest told me my attempt at eye-makeup was beautiful.
My youngest bit no one at school today.
My eldest did a weeks worth of homework in an evening.
My youngest told me that dog hair "wouldn't make me die".
That's my win. That's it. That's all. That's everything.
What makes you proud?