It's not all autism all the time for me. It can't be. It just can't be. Sometimes, I want to do things that are so far removed for autism and parenting and well...responsibilities in general, that I can barely stand it. More often than I'd like to admit I do gloriously selfish things like book a ninety minute massage and spend money I don't have on books I don't have time to read. Sometimes, only sometimes, I buy the fifteen dollar bottle of wine because it feels like a treat and on a very rare occasion, I buy the fifteen dollar wine, an obscenely sized Toblerone and a brand new book and I enjoy them all at the same time. It feels criminal and I like it that way.
Tonight, my indulgence of choice will be as many episodes of House of Cards as I can fit into an evening (It's back on Netflix today, you know) and that fifteen dollar bottle of wine. Netflix was kind enough to send me a gift card to buy $50 worth of ribs to enjoy during the premier. If you know my man Frank Underwood, you'll know why. I'm more of a gourmet chocolate kind of girl so I'll let my husband enjoy those ribs but if all goes as planned, in a matter of hours, we will be home enjoying the antics of one politically evil motherfucker and his painfully complex wife with a bottle of wine and a roaring fire.
So, tonight, I will be visiting that world. One where autism doesn't exist and people still smoke cigarettes right on television like it doesn't even matter that they kill you--A world where everyone one screws everyone and bad people do things so vile that you can't help but be impressed. A world where I only have to participate from my couch and that's just fine with me. Can you imagine a world like that? I'd never want to live there but I sure do love to visit now and then.