Readers of this blog know, that although this blog bears her name, Kate is not the only focus of our journey. Just as important is big sister Grace, who is the captain of Team Kate. Grace, at five years old, already understands that Kate needs a little more help day to day and she relishes her role as captain. She prefers to stay out of the limelight, so to speak, and will 'grace' this blog only when I consult her. The same will be true for Kate when she can make that decision. I asked Grace if I could write about her first day of school and she was eager to tell her story, so here it is. Before I begin Grace's story I will back track a little and remind you that Grace has a lot of anxiety, in general. Starting school is bringing that out in her and the past few weeks have been challenging to say the least. Now, if you will, imagine the quintessential Kindergarten teacher, with her gentle voice, and patient demeanor; the kind of teacher that students and parents adore; like Miss Honey from Roald Dahl's Matilda. Yes, her. Well, Grace has TWO of her. She has two perfect Kindergarten teachers that cannot wait to teach her. She is a lucky girl and we are thrilled for her. The evening before Grace's first day of school we sent Kate to spend the night at her grandparent's house. This was a huge help in a couple of ways. Her grandmother could take her to her speech and occupational therapy appointments for us and we could focus all of our energy on Grace. We asked Grace where she would like to go for a special supper. She chose a Japanese restaurant (it could just as easily been McDonalds) and off we went to meet her aunt, uncle and cousin. She was especially thrilled with her dessert. After dinner we went home for a quiet night and tried to keep things as low key as possible. We read, "The Night Before Kindergarten" and poems from Jack Prelutsky's, "A Pizza the Size of the Sun" and sent her off to bed with constant reminders that she will be fine and school will be a lot of fun. She went to bed easily. Hmmmm? She crawled into bed with us sometime after 4am. She never does that. She was nervous or excited or more likely both. When morning finally came she wanted her dress on immediately. She ate pancakes and starting worrying about missing the bus. She wanted to go the bus stop as soon as possible. It was thirty minutes before her bus was due but she wanted to go. I stalled her for a little longer and then eventually gave in and took her over. She didn't say much as she waited with her friends for the bus. Her cousin came down to ride the bus with her. I am sure this is the reason she got on the bus without tears. He is a big Grade 5 boy and he made her feel safe. Once she was off on the bus, we, along with the other parents, raced the bus to school so we could meet her getting off of the bus. When she got off the bus she immediately told me that she would not be going back on the bus unless I was driving it. Pretty unlikely since my husband won't let me drive his work truck because he doesn't 'trust me with it', yet. We walked to her classroom and she clung to me. She didn't speak but she didn't cry either. She held my hand and looked down. Her teachers gently guided her to her chair and she allowed me to walk away. I'm not going to lie, before I left I whispered in her ear: "Grace, if you do this I will buy you the biggest stuffed animal I can find today." What? It worked. She did it. She went to school all day long and I don't thinks she shed a single tear.
She told me she loves her teachers, she loves her classroom AND she gets to play on the playground every single day. I could not be more relieved. She fell asleep within minutes of arriving home and I let her. She is one tired little girl. The day could not have gone better. I worried a lot for nothing. Those that know Grace will appreciate how brave she was today. We are so proud of her.
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I am dismayed and appalled at the ludicrous position taken (sic) by many other supporters of ABA, who claim that ABA is the only scientifically validated treatment for autism. Not so! That position is not only false, it is absurd. Dr. Bernard Rimland, founder, Autism Society of America On Monday Alex and I will meet with our local MLA Blaine Higgs, who also happens to be New Brunswick's Minister of Finance. We have requested this meeting with the intent to point out the issues facing the autism community in New Brunswick. We would like to highlight the major concerns regarding autism services, ranging from diagnostic issues, early intervention and school-aged children to adults on the spectrum. Of course, this is a huge undertaking and we have under an hour to present our thoughts but nonetheless we are grateful for the audience. Our main issues will be drawn up and detailed for Minister Higgs but I would like to lay them out here as well. I run most of my thoughts, on all things autism, by the readers of this blog and your comments have always been much appreciated. Maybe, you could help me articulate my thoughts for Minister Higgs. If you don't live in New Brunswick, please let me know what works and does not work in your Province/State. I guess it is clear, by my choice of an opening quote, that I feel funding only one treatment (ABA) and touting that treatment as the only evidence-based, scientifically sound treatment for autism is a major concern. If you google "Autism Services in NB" you will come across a few articles detailing how New Brunswick is a leader in the field. They will say things like, "Children in NB receive 20 hours a week of ABA," (15 if you're lucky). "Children in NB can receive a diagnosis of autism as early as 18 months," (it takes that long for some people to even get in to see a specialist) and "services can be implemented in a matter of weeks," (not even close. If you're a loyal reader, you know that our own Kate waited for 177 days to receive service.) Essentially, New Brunswick has been patted on the back in recent years for great strides in implementing autism services and intervention programs. It is time to stop resting on those accolades and look closely at our system once again. Are we truly servicing the autistic population to the best of our abiltiies? (yes, I said autitistic! I have decided that person-first language is currently an argument I am not willing to fight when so many more important issues are looming) The bottom line is: Why do we call it a spectrum and then offer only ONE treatment? Here is what I want Minister Higgs to know: 1. The hospital corporation has been amazing. Our doctors, our OT's, and our Speech Paths have been top drawer. Give them MORE resources and give them above standard training and education in their fields. Hire more of them so they are not spread so thin that they spend their evenings feeling guilty for never having enough time/energy/resources to properly serve their clients. Allow these PROFESSIONALS to be flexible and varied in the services they deliver. They are amazing at what they do and they are in the field everyday. Allow services to be needs-based rather than diagnosis-based. TRUST the medical professionals when they tell you someone could benefit from a therapy. 2. Please, please, please DO NOT put all your eggs in one basket. Allow other therapy options for early intervention. See, Pivotal Response, Floor Time and Son-Rise to name a few. Explore art and music therapy and look at the whole-body approach. Allow the PARENTS and their respective teams to direct the funding to therapies they see as most legitimate and suitable for their children. DO NOT marginalize parents in this process. We know our children better than a room full of autism research scholars. We are vital to setting up appropriate treatments. Listen to us. 3. Boost the services that school-aged children receive. Services dramatically drop off once a child enters the school system. This is unnacceptable. Allow teachers and EA's to be trained in VARIED autism intervention theories. Give us MORE resources and more bodies so that we can feel effective and proud of the work we do with special needs children. 4. Finally, and I don't like to use that word because this, in no way, means that our needs can be fairly expressed in four small paragraphs, but there is a crucial need for policy-makers to implement services that treat autistic individuals across their lifespan. There it is in a nutshell. What am I missing? What can I add? What do you think is imperative? Don't get me started on services for the siblings of kids with special needs because that will have to be for the next meeting! Thanks for listening and please feel free to leave comments below or send me a private message. |
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April 2022
AuthorGrace and Kate's mom. (Shanell) |